Episode 119: Introducing a New Baby to the Family with Robyn Mckeefrey

Children  0:00  
We think you should know that Imperfect Heroes podcast is a production of Little Hearts Academy USA.

DJ Stutz  0:09  
Welcome heroes and heroines to Episode 119 of Imperfect Heroes, Insights Into Parenting, the perfect podcast for imperfect parents looking to find joy in their experience of raising children in an imperfect world. And I'm your host DJ Stutz.

Before we get started, I cannot contain myself, my first children's book is, let's start again. Before we get started, I just can't contain myself. My first children's book Roman is Bigger is now available kind of available on Amazon. And here's the story. Okay. So when you're a first time author, you're untested, they only print a limited number of books. And I sold out in the first day. So anyway, we're printing some more, and we're getting them going. There'll be with Amazon. And we'll have it continuously after this. Now that we've sold our first set of books, and did it in the first day. So anyway, it's called Roman is Bigger. And I think in about a week, it's going to be back on, I think if you go now it's going to say, currently unavailable. So I don't know if you can preorder now or not. But look in about a week. And it's good to be there, but so much fun. So it's about this little guy, guess what his name is... Roman. And he has some really big feelings. But he's just got the simple usual words, that he knows they're not enough to really express how he's feeling. And so you get to enjoy this fun little story with your children, your grandchildren, or even in your classroom, as you learn about the power of words. And here's the fun thing. This book includes a lesson plan for teachers to implement this book in their classroom. And it also has a parent page that's filled with ideas that you can use to expand the vocabulary of your kiddos. And so just it's a lot of good stuff for everyone gives them a major advantage in their education. So anyway, the link for the book is in the show notes to Amazon. But like I said, it might say currently unavailable, so keep checking. It'll be there that it's sold out the first day. So that's pretty exciting. 

All right. So let's get started. Because there's really so much that we're talking about today. And we are talking about one of my favorite subjects. But it is yeah, I love the babies. And you know this, but we're talking about when this isn't your first rodeo, we're talking about baby number two, or three, or four or more. And the experience is different really, every time it's very different preparing a one or two year old for a new sibling than it is for a four or five year old. And I think most of us have seen just the hysterical videos of parents revealing to the fact that a new baby is on the way and their current children are either. So excited are like, I don't want to know the baby dead. Right? So I'm sure you see them like on America's Funniest video or Tik Tok or Instagram or whatever you're watching. And there's just that wide variety of responses. And the truth is, though, that when you tell your kids that you're going to have another baby, the response that they give you is really going to give you a really good idea of where you're going to have to start in making preparations for this new arrival and the attitude. Now age has a lot to do with the approach that you're going to have to take. And so did you know what Irish twins are? Yeah, no. So this is when a mom has two children within 12 months. And here's my little ADHD moment here is that the term Irish twins started back in the 1800s when there was a big influx of Irish immigrants, and most of them were Catholic, very staunch, good Catholics. They tended to be rather poor. And they didn't use contraception, of course, and so they would see children being born within 12 months, separate pregnancies, say mom and dad, different kids. And so the term Irish twins came from that. And so just fun side note and Anyway, when Big Brother and or big the big sister are so young, you're probably going to wait until Mom has clearly shown me and let them touch the belly and maybe feel when the baby's moving, just kind of talk positively about how there's the baby there, and use the term that you're gonna be a Big Brother or Big Sister, notice other babies that are around, we're gonna have a baby soon, those kinds of things, they're not going to get a lot of it, they're just going to start hearing familiar words, they'll hear it over and over, they may not understand what all the mean, are many Drew, but that's okay. And then when the new baby comes, they're often going to think of it as like just a toy, right. And they have like motorized little toys that they play with. And so it's not odd that a toy moves to them, especially in today's society, and they might not associate with it actually being a human being, right. And so they may hurt it not understand it doesn't mean that they're being mean or awful, they just might not understand it's different from a toy. So you're gonna want to have to give some education and talk to them. And explain to them, show them how to treat the baby kindly and nicely. And you're gonna want to make sure that you're giving this little guy enough attention so that they're not getting too jealous of the baby, as well. And as we get going with my guest, you're going to hear some ideas on how to do that. And then you may even see your kids hit that baby. And again, that's all part of either being jealous that you're spending too much time with it in their minds, you may not actually be spending too much time with it, but they may think you're spending too much time with it, that's a sign that maybe we need to spend a little extra time with them, or with all three of you together as a group with the baby. And so you'll hear a little bit more. And then things change as they get older. 

And my guest Robyn Mckeefrey wrote a book about it, and it's called Mommy Went To The Hospital To Bring Home A New Baby. And we just had a great conversation about some of the things that parents can do to prepare their current children for a new addition. So be sure and stay tuned to the end of the podcast for some additional tips to make things easier, and make the change easier for everyone. So there's so much to learn. So let's get started. 

Welcome, everybody, and thank you for choosing to spend the next few minutes here with Imperfect Heroes podcast. And I am so excited we're talking about a subject that is the most people do love those babies, right? And so, Robyn Mckeefrey, I am so excited to have you on. Talk to us a little bit about what you do and what you've got going on.

Robyn Mckeefrey  7:59  
Well, thank you so much for having me. First of all, I truly appreciate the opportunity to discuss my new book. So I am a registered nurse with a very long standing background in maternal health. I am a mother of two daughters, they are grown, and they are married, and they are expanding and growing their own families. At this time, oh, I draw on my education. I draw on my professionalism. And I draw on my personal life experience. And I have brought to the readers this new book of mine titled mommy went to the hospital to bring home and new baby.

DJ Stutz  8:48  
One fun thing. And so there's the saying that change, even change for good is hard.

Robyn Mckeefrey  8:58  
Absolutely. People don't like change.

DJ Stutz  9:00  
No, no. And Wow. Can you imagine more change than a baby? Well, I guess there could be more change than that. But I mean, it's a lot of change. And especially if you've already got another child or two or three. Right? That that just changes a lot of the dynamics. Yeah. So trying to merge this amazing blessing that generally everyone's really excited to have the older sisters want to play mammy and do the whole thing. But it just does really kind of mix things up. So talk to us a little bit about how in your book, how that develops, and then maybe some ideas that you have with working this whole thing into a seamless mind meld

Robyn Mckeefrey  9:49  
of course so I can start with a little bit of history for you. So I was driving in traffic to work one morning and there happened to be a lot of traffic and My oldest daughter was pregnant with her second. So some things just were going through my mind as I was sitting in traffic. What kind of conversations is she having with her son about expecting a new sibling? What kind of conversations did I have with her when I was expecting her sister? And what kinds of thoughts were going through my grandson's mind as he was two years old, expecting a new sibling. So the thought just grew inside of me. And I said, let me see if I can put some text together to assist families that are growing and expanding. So I drew upon, you know, those caveats that I have. And I think that it is a book that is endearing to young children, it is actually told from the perspective of a young child who is themselves expecting a sibling. We have some colorful and vibrant illustrations. The characters are very endearing. The little girl that is the main character who is telling the story is just adorable. And we have the mother and we have the father and we have the grandmother, we have some animals, some pets, and all Gambit there at the mall, and this little girl is wondering, what is gonna happen to her life. When this new baby arrives? She kind of peers into the little baby's new room, what's going to be in there? She's walking in the park with her mommy, they're having conversations about what to expect. She's in the car. They're having more conversations about what to expect? What is it like when babies cry? Why do they cry? Let's talk about good sharing. So it's all these pertinent, very critical messages and life lessons that we have to pour into those children that are expecting new siblings.

DJ Stutz  12:29  
Right? I think that really looking at it from a child's point of view. Right. So if anyone's been listening long, they know I'm the oldest of seven. And I remember the third come I don't remember, I was only 1415 months old when my brothers first brother came home. The next brother, I don't even really remember mom being pregnant. I was four when he was born. And but I do remember him coming home. Here's this cute little baby. And all of a sudden mom's attention was on him. For me, it didn't matter. We lived in Oakland, California at the time, but you just went outside and less moms are the baby and I had more free time. That's all that mattered to me. Right. And then when I was seven, the next one came that was my only sister who extended for sister right? And that's when the nurturing me showed up.

Robyn Mckeefrey  13:29  
Yeah, plus you were a little bit older. So

DJ Stutz  13:32  
I was a little bit older. And I had these dreams. You know, little girls have a dream of being a mommy anyway. And, and she was so cute. so sweet and so wonderful. And I yet I have never had an argument with my sister my entire life. I mean, oh, it's kind of crazy. So and then, when I was 10, my mom had twins. Oh, yeah. I remember being really upset because they were more boys. Yeah, but being older now the responsibilities changed in a different way. Now I was actually helping to Jaipur. I was helping to monitor. My mom breastfed her twins. I still was helping with other things. And then before long, you know you're feeding them getting into the cereals and the food and stuff. And so I was helping with that. And so I that time, I took on a lot of responsibility. So each child was a different experience for me. And then the youngest. They waited seven years before they had another one. He was born the summer before my senior year. So again, a different experience for me. Yeah, and I used to pretend it was mine. In my room, slept in my room. Yeah. And so I was playing with him at night.

Robyn Mckeefrey  14:53  
Wow.

DJ Stutz  14:54  
I believe that I live closest to him.

Robyn Mckeefrey  14:57  
Yeah, there you go. Little Yeah. son even though an ages, you know, these young children can certainly help out in their own ways in whatever ways they are actually capable of doing that, you know, you can ask a little one either, can you go get me a diaper? And you go get the wipes? Can you get me a wash cloth, little tiny chores, that they feel like they are helping and assisting and they are the big sibling. And then they are rewarded. Because you know, you have to say, thank you so much. What a big help you aren't a mommy, you know, so you can certainly give them little tasks where they feel like they are useful and being responsible and assisting.

DJ Stutz  15:43  
Yes. And in a way in charge. Little kids want to be in charge. Right? Yeah,

Robyn Mckeefrey  15:49  
yes, they aren't charged, really, we're cheap.

DJ Stutz  15:53  
Oh, I changed the diaper, what's your job, to have to change a diaper, you know, and let them know if this is their job, and how important they are. And all of those things. So that's amazing can even

Robyn Mckeefrey  16:06  
have a doll beside them. And you know, they can pick out a wipe from the little container. And they can have a diaper and they can parallel play with you, you know, depending on the ages of the child. So it's just a wonderful, wonderful book for sprinkle showers or baby showers. And it just, you know, it really serves a purpose. And I'm very happy to pay it forward to pay, you know, my backgrounds and my experience forward.

DJ Stutz  16:39  
Others. Yeah, I love that. So what are some of the things that you suggest in talking to your siblings, maybe even as early as considering having another child?

Robyn Mckeefrey  16:52  
I think it's good, you know, to start those conversations. I think depending on the age of the child, you know, the depth of the conversations will of course, be very different. Some younger children, you know, more superficial snippets of conversations like my second daughter is actually expecting her second child right now. So we're having a conversation. Thank you. We're so excited. Oh, we're having conversations with her 18 month old daughter right now because she's going to be a big sister. Yeah, well, she's only 18 months old. So you know, the conversations are short and limited, but informational. And exciting. And you know, we'll point to mommy's belly. Mommy's having a baby, are you going to be a big sister? And then she won't even go to sleep without my book? I tell you. Oh, yeah, I mean, grandma's pictures on the back. So that has to do with it. Yeah, you know, adorable, the young kids just really love the book, they love to point out the characters, the scenery, it's just something that has been very well received. And, you know, I'm just so happy that people are receptive.

DJ Stutz  18:09  
Yeah, I am, too. I am, too. And I think that it's really important for us to have some books like that. Books are so engaging for kids, and they've learned so much. And so like, there's videos and stuff, but it's interesting that the research that's being done, the education research that's being done out there is that even if you have, like, they'll have books on the tablet, that they can listen to them, the pages turn or whatever the kids retain more from, let me hold the book from the actual book, hold on it. And so, you know,

Robyn Mckeefrey  18:46  
they love to, they love to read themselves, they love to look at the pictures, they love to turn the pages, they just soak it up through reading through actual king of books. And, you know, this is, this is a book that is like the perfect size, even for a little kid to be holding. It's not to be it's not to be it's just a perfect size. And you know, they can take it with them when they go to, you know, friend's houses or or in the car, they can read in the car and they can look at the pictures and the characters. And I think that they really, really relate to having books read to them thumbing through the pages and just that touch experience with an actual book in hand.

DJ Stutz  19:37  
Yeah, I actually would rather have them have a book in their little go bag instead of pad. Yeah, yeah, you know, coloring book or whatever, that that texture, you know, and touching and engaging. And if you read a book to a child over and over and over again And they start

Robyn Mckeefrey  20:02  
reciting the text. Absolutely, really, they memorize it.

DJ Stutz  20:07  
They do. And then that what's interesting is, they might not remember the first word on the first pages the, and then they'll point to that then in time, they'll start recognizing that word in other places.

Robyn Mckeefrey  20:23  
Yeah, right. Right. Yes. Right.

DJ Stutz  20:25  
And so that's definitely a process of learning to read. And then it's so much fun when they've loved books so much, or several. And I had my youngest son, Christian, was Mr. ADHD of the world, but he loved books, and he would go to bed with like, eight.

Robyn Mckeefrey  20:45  
There's no room for them in the bed there. Okay. Yeah,

DJ Stutz  20:47  
I'm like, that's gonna be uncomfortable. You know, I tried to take

Robyn Mckeefrey  20:53  
the mornings, sometimes, you know, my grandchildren will wake up, and they're not getting out of bed right away. But they're picking up a book in the bed while they're still in bed and reading, you know, and the pages and looking at the characters, and I think it's terrific. But there are so many good little life lessons in this book for those young children. You know, so why do babies cry? Because they're hungry, or they're cold, or they need a diaper change? Or maybe they just need a cuddle? You know, those are some of the lessons and the main character has a favorite stuffed toy. So we all know about favorite toys, and how young children aren't exactly fans of sharing those young toys. So we talk about sharing.

DJ Stutz  21:47  
Yeah. Yeah, yes. And I think too, when kids have more information, like, why babies cry? Right? They might, and again, depending on their developmental abilities, and not all kids develop emotionally and socially at the same pace, but so depending on where they are with that, they might start looking and trying to problem solve. themselves, instead of running moms of babies crying, you know, you might see them starting to maybe try to entertain or, you know, for sure. Yes, yeah. Because they can instruct it on things that they can do. And then they feel confident, and they feel capable and then dependent. And, and I think a lot of times that kids will resent you, because we've seen that where they resent a baby and you know, some resentment is normal. Yes, well,

Robyn Mckeefrey  22:53  
some regression is normal to some of them will regress a little bit depending on where they are and what milestones they have maybe just achieved. No, so glad

DJ Stutz  23:03  
you brought that up. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up. So if you have a kid that's been potty trained for even six months or more, you may start having accidents after the baby comes. Yes. And it's frustrating. But you don't want to get angry with them over that, and maybe have some conversations about, wow, you had an accident? Did you forget and you start going through because they might know in their hearts, they might not know why they had that accident?

Robyn Mckeefrey  23:36  
Absolutely. You know, depending on the age of that child, you know, they may not know why their emotions are a certain ways at times. Now, I think the parents need to expect that there is going to be some, you know, degree of that regression. Sometimes they don't want to drink from a cup anymore. Well, that I want. I want to do what that baby's doing. Right. So I don't want this cup anymore. Right? accidents. You know, when they're potty training. I don't want to go to school. today. I want to be home with mommy the baby's home with mommy. Right? I wouldn't be home with mommy.

DJ Stutz  24:14  
Right? Again, everything depends on that, that developmental age, and how they're processing information. But you might talk to them, especially before the baby comes that you know, you're big. So you're going to have you know, different rules, then the baby's going to have because you can do things that the baby can't do. Yeah, so you have more independence. I like using those word independence and freedom and you can make more choices than the baby can make. Yeah, right. So

Robyn Mckeefrey  24:52  
there are some sections in the book where she voices that mommy went to the hospital. Old to bring home a new baby. But, you know, I miss her. So I think it's good to prepare them that there is a period of time where mommy and daddy aren't going to be around because they're going to have to be with the new baby, but they're going to come home. And while Mommy and Daddy are gone, this is who you're going to stay with. And so these the preparatory conversations in advance, really, you know, because when we repeat things to them, it sticks and they understand better. Yeah, maybe a trial run, maybe an overnight with grandma. Yeah, this is what it's like when mommy goes to the hospital to have the baby. And then they're going to bring home the new baby. And then there are different references to her thinking that she is a big girl. But then certain things happen, where she's not acting like such a big girl. Right? So I think it's very informative. And people are really starting to grasp onto it, and really enjoy it themselves in addition to

DJ Stutz  26:13  
join, that's so much fun. And then I want to also talk about, sometimes they may try to take on more than they are ready for. So you know, they know Oh, the baby's crying, maybe it's wetter needs a diaper change. It's like kissing your two year old to take the diaper off the baby, you're like, wow,

Robyn Mckeefrey  26:36  
yes, yes. Never never out of I.

DJ Stutz  26:43  
Yeah. And so just be aware of some of those things. And when that's not again, that's nothing to get angry about. In fact, you might want to even praise their initiative I write, I there are certain things that we have to do when we change a diaper. And so mommy needs to do it, because we need to make sure she doesn't get any sores on her bum or his bum. And we want to make sure that all the parts are clean.

Robyn Mckeefrey  27:09  
And also, you know, thank you for letting me know. So let's do this together. You know, they like to do things together, they like to feel like they're new, and they're assisting you on it's also very important to dedicate some alone time. With that older child, there is a lot of focus on a new baby, when they come home, there are a lot of needs. Obviously, those babies are fed every two to three hours, usually, and they have to be changed every two to three hours. And there are a lot of them, they go through 10 outfits a day. So a lot of things have to be done. But it's important to dedicate just a little bit of time with the older sibling to no matter what age they are. Because they feel oh, yeah, they want your time.

DJ Stutz  28:03  
And so I think scheduling that time, too, and then incorporating it though. I know that So Canvas is my oldest. And then Shiloh is my next and they're two weeks shorter two years apart. So basically right there. And it got to the point where Cannes would say the baby needs to eat baby needs to eat because when I was feeding nursing Shiloh, I would read to Kansas and so she'd bring her Dr. Seuss books to me. And we'd read a few bucks a couple of bucks while I was nursing. And so she came to see that time nursing time was actually her special time

Robyn Mckeefrey  28:45  
with you. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, really terrific.

DJ Stutz  28:50  
And I think too, that's a great time to incorporate time with dad. Yeah, absolutely. Mom doesn't have as much freedom gotta make sure you back in time to feed the baby and to make sure that things are done if especially if you're nursing, but that's not nursing doesn't have the plumbing.

Robyn Mckeefrey  29:13  
So, I mean, even going for a short walk, you know, if it's a nice day out or reasonable, whether you just go for a walk, it's just maybe just, you know, that special time together. Yes. I always found that when I had my children in the car with me. It was the best time for me to have just dedicated time and conversations with them because they were captive audiences. So we really had some very good conversations in the car.

DJ Stutz  29:44  
Absolutely. And having those fun conversations to and and talking about what's the craziest thing your baby did today? No. You know, and let them start seeing those attributes of the baby as a human. Yeah, because a lot of times when they're really young, really young, I mean, we're talking about that 18 months, some at two and under. They're excited about a baby, but the baby is really a toy.

Robyn Mckeefrey  30:12  
Just like a person, like my grandkids think I'm their toy.

DJ Stutz  30:18  
Yeah, I know that part two. I love it. Yeah, Grandma land is the happiest place on earth. It's the best. It is. I know. So for all of you moms that are in the middle of it all. Just remember, Grandma land awaits. Your life last

Robyn Mckeefrey  30:40  
thing that newborn and expanding and growing your family is such a wonderful time. I know you're in the throes of it. And that's a very busy time. And there is very little sleep. But it is such a special special time.

DJ Stutz  30:57  
Right? Yeah. Well, and I think too, we want to make sure I'm so glad you brought up sleep. That's so important.

Robyn Mckeefrey  31:05  
Yes, or the lack thereof,

DJ Stutz  31:07  
or the lack thereof. And so it's really important, I think that for mom to be able to manage through things to come up with some kind of answers. And so you know, whether you're trading nights with your spouse or your partner, whatever you're trading nights, or because trading every other time still doesn't get you that solid six hours that you need. And so trading Nights is actually going to be better for you. And then maybe working it out with a best friend or a mom or a sister to come once in a while and we get the bottles. That's what I love to do with my girls when they had theirs. And I sleep and have the bottles and they could sleep. And in fact, I'll tell you it. Speaking about shower guests, that's one of my favorite shower guests to give is a card saying this is good for one night asleep. And also cover and take care of your baby so you can get sleep. It's a really good friend, you might do it twice. But

Robyn Mckeefrey  32:10  
meal isn't such a bad idea either.

DJ Stutz  32:13  
No, yeah. Because you're just you're tired. Your your hormones are still completely out of whack. Yeah, for sure. And so, you know, it's just hard. And as much as our guys are there that I think there's maybe 100 or less than that, that really gets that, oh, gosh, this is hard for my wife. You know, it's like the babies hear what

Robyn Mckeefrey  32:37  
I listen, the baby sleeps. It's hard for them because they go back to work. And their routine. You know, is back on track?

DJ Stutz  32:53  
Yes. And why is it your heart?

Robyn Mckeefrey  32:56  
I think it's it's difficult. You know, it's, it's hard to have a new baby, it's hard to introduce a new baby, when you already have a young child. There are a lot of concerns and a lot of thoughts swirling around. But mommy went to the hospital to bring home a new baby helps with a lot of those concerns. And those lessons.

DJ Stutz  33:22  
So Robin, let's talk for a second about where my listeners and viewers can find you and find your book. Sure. So

Robyn Mckeefrey  33:32  
I'm on Facebook, and I am on Instagram. And the book is available for purchase on the online bookstores, on Amazon on Google Books on Barnes and Noble on a universe, you know, you just type it in and it'll pop right up. And it comes very quickly. I mean, sometimes the next day, so you can start your lessons very quickly after you purchase the book.

DJ Stutz  33:59  
Nice. And it's a book that you can read to your kids before or after. Yeah, I mean, Mm hmm. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Now we're gonna have all of that information in the show notes. And so go on down. And you can just click, we'll have just the links there, you just click and you'll be good. And while you're down there, go ahead and follow. leave a rating and review. And in fact, I've got a thing going on right now where if you leave a rating and review, let me know. And I will go ahead and send you an e book that I just wrote called Loving and kindness. And so yeah, and so you'll have access to that I it's, you can get it on my website. It's 20 bucks, but if you leave a rating and review, I'll go ahead and send that to you for free, give you the coupon code for when you checkout. So be sure and do that and then So if you have any questions or comments about anything that you've heard during the podcast, go ahead and leave them in the chat. And I will forward them on with Robin. And maybe we'll come back and answer questions at some point, or we'll, we'll get back with you. But we'd love to hear what you think about what we've been talking about sharing your stories. We love hearing those stories. And so I hope that you'll engage with us there. You can also share your stories on Facebook at the imperfect viewers podcast page, and I'm on Instagram, imperfect heroes podcast. So you can always get there and tag us and share. And we'd love to hear what you're thinking and what your experiences are. So Robin, before we go, I always ask my guests the same question. And that is, how would you describe a successful parent?

Robyn Mckeefrey  35:51  
A successful parent is someone who tries their very best every single day. When you put those children down to sleep, and you had a successful day, you have to reflect on the good times, and you have to learn from some of the lessons that are available to you. And just get up and do it all again the next day and learn from mistakes. Parenting, there really is is no perfect way to, you know, are original in their daily lives. So they're going to be somewhat original when they parents, you know, we all want to keep our children safe. We want to instill in them to be good people, to be honest, to be true, to do the best they can and to empower them. Yes. And those are the lessons that we want to pay forward. In our children in our next generations. Just do the best you can every day and learn from what you've made a mistaken.

DJ Stutz  37:02  
Yeah, and don't beat yourself up over it. Everyone Screw that. I know, it's imperfect heroes.

Robyn Mckeefrey  37:09  
We are tough on ourselves. I think we're tough on ourselves. Being women being for those of us that that work, you know, the balance the life balance, but we can do it. We're strong and fierce, and we love with passion. So do the best you can don't beat yourself up.

DJ Stutz  37:36  
Right on, you've got it. I'm so glad that you shared that with us. So Robin, thank you so much, everybody go get her book. It's amazing. It's wonderful. Get the book. And just scroll down yoking data. So thank you, Robin, very much. And perhaps we'll talk again,

Robyn Mckeefrey  37:51  
thank you so much for having me, I so appreciate being able to share my new book with everyone. And thank you again,

DJ Stutz  37:59  
Oh, you're very welcomed by everyone. Some great ideas, right. And if you want to learn more about Robin and her book, just click on the links that are down in the show notes. And while you're there, be sure to hit the Follow button, the like button, and make sure you're getting in on the information on all the amazing episodes that we give each week. So there's a new episode every Monday on the podcast. 

And so here's a couple of additional ideas that you can use to help with your family. So when shopping for the new baby before the arrival, be sure to once in a while, let your kids choose a few special things for them to give to the baby when the baby arrives. And so it's not just something that a shower or whatever these are gifts, you can wrap them up if you want or whatever. But it's fun for them to have something that they give to the baby. So that's fun. Now, when your child, especially when they're in the younger stages, I'd say five and under. When they first see the baby, moms should be free to give them hugs and kisses and talk to them and how excited you are. But have either dad or have the baby in a bassinet at the hospital if they come to the hospital to see the baby or someone else holding the baby so that you're free to give them some attention before you show them the baby so that they're feeling comfortable with where they are in the lineup. Right? And then when mom comes home from the hospital, again, she's first going to give hugs to the children. Ask them about their day. Ask them about some other things about what's going on in their life and things that they love to do. And then introduce them to the baby let them see the baby and then they can bring their guests either at the hospital or when the baby comes home, whatever works good for you, right. And then if you're looking for some more great ideas on helping your children with that transition of being a sibling, when they were an only, or maybe there's a new sibling, I would love to have a conversation with you. And so just click the link to my calendar, it's down in the show notes, whether you're listening to the podcast, or you're on YouTube or rumble, just go on down, and click on the calendar link that's in the show. And I always give everyone a free 15 minute consultation, where I love to talk about you about your family, get to know you a little better. And we can talk about the great things that are going on some of the challenges that you're having do some problem solving. And so I would love to do that. The link to my calendar is where where do you think, ah, in the show notes. All right. 

So if you liked what you heard, in today's podcast, be sure to rate and review and really tell a friend about us. And you can always rate and review, whether you're on Apple, Spotify, YouTube rumble, and just click on those reviews. And when you're clicking on reviews, remember five stars is the appropriate number of stars can it's that easy. 

And so before we wrap up, I want to share just an exciting thing that's coming up. So starting on November 13, I am hosting the five days of service challenge and the holidays, you know, it's not just about the decorations, and the parties and the presence, really the holidays are about reaching out to others and teaching our children about the joy of giving and creating those meaningful experiences of service as a family. And so this challenge is going to be a little different than the past challenges, it's still going to be five days. But each day, we're going to work together to construct a plan for a bigger kind of big event. Not too crazy big, we've only got a few days to do it right. But something that we're going to do together as a family. Thursday is the day that we're actually going to carry that plan through. And then Friday, we're going to have a reflective session as we're going to share and talk to each other about how it went what happened. And so I hope you'll join us in spreading that kindness and joy this holiday season, as we find this chance to become somebody's superhero, and maybe their special angel. And so keep an eye on your emails, if you're not on our email list, and you want to be there so you're not missing out on this stuff. Just go to the website. The link is in the show notes. And you can see join our email list and doesn't cost anything. I don't inundate you with a bunch of stuff maybe once a week, maybe. But it's a chance to bring service into our family and bless the lives of someone else that's around there. And so always check us out on YouTube and rumble. Yay. I'm so glad that we're there. 

And next week, guess what? I'm the expert and the guest. It's me, myself and I it's just going to be me and I am going to share some insights on how to slow down some of that sibling arguing and competition that we are all so tired of hearing constantly, right? So check it out and see. And until next time, let's find joy in parenting.

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