Episode 138: Love at Home, Making Sure Every Child is Feeling Loved Every Day with Devoted Mom Jenna Jones

Children  0:00  
We think you should know that Imperfect Heroes Podcast is a production of Little Hearts Academy USA.

DJ Stutz  0:09  
You're listening to Episode 137 of Imperfect Heroes, Insights Into Parenting, the perfect podcast for imperfect parents looking to find joy in their experience of raising children in an imperfect world. And I'm your host, DJ Stutz.

Hey, everyone, and thank you for choosing to spend the next few minutes with us here at Imperfect Heroes. And before we get started on today's guest, and our topic, I'm sure if you've been listening, you've got a good idea of what we're going to be talking about. But I just wanted to remind everyone that you can still get my book Roman is Bigger at Amazon, it's at Barnes and Noble online, some Walmart online too. And it's easy to get so the hardcover like this, it's, it's a little expensive, but then softcover isn't bad at all. It's like 13 bucks. So if you want to grab that it's a fun book. It's about building vocabulary, and emotions. And so we find out that Roman is a little boy, who has some big feelings. And one day he got really mad at his dog for chewing up his favorite toy. And his mom, you know, says, Oh, you're mad, he goes, Oh, no, I am bigger than mad, right. And so he's got to use his vocabulary to find the right words to express how he's truly feeling. And maybe he's bigger than happy. And he is bigger than sad. And it goes on and on. And it's a fun little story. So if you want to look at expanding your child's vocabulary, we've even got a lesson plan for teachers in the back. And we also have a parent page for parents to share ideas on activities they can do with their child to expand their child's vocabulary. And we know that one of the big things as kids come into school that is really going to make a difference in them educationally and excelling is that vocabulary. And as a former kindergarten teacher, I can tell you that the kids who came in, and they were way behind, some kids become behind like 10,000 words behind anything. 10,000 words, kindergarteners don't know that many words. Yeah, they do. And it makes it really big difference in how many words they have. And the thing is that this is something that is so big in how your child does in school. And it's does go by economic lines, but it doesn't cost you anything to expand your child's vocabulary. It's just taking the time to talk to them constantly and share and build that vocabulary. And so we would love to help with that. And Roman is Bigger is one of those resources that can help you with building your child's vocabulary, and helping them to talk about their emotions. And so anyway, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Walmart online even. So go and find it. And I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you like it, you can always get a hold of me on the website for the podcast, and also on the website for my business, which is www.LittleHeartsAcademyusa.com. So let's get going with our guest today. And I am so excited. She comes to us from Las Vegas, Nevada. And she is the mom of two amazing kids with one more coming along in about six weeks. And this is Jenna Jones. And I'm so excited to have you here. Jenna. How are you doing? Hey,

Jenna Jones  3:52  
thanks for having me on. Good. How are you?

DJ Stutz  3:55  
I'm doing great, always great. So this is part of our new format that we're having this year. So we are doing a theme a month. And of course this theme has to be on love. And every month we want to have one of our parents that is like boots to the ground, knee deep in kids and trying to figure it all out. And with those stories of when you're going through it all. Of course, I'm long past that. But I remember going through it with my lovely kiddos. And I remember just how hard it can be sometimes. And Jenna, I know that you're trying to get things done and you're trying to take care of things and there's you're working part time you said

Jenna Jones  4:39  
a little bit yeah, about nine hours a week. So super part time. Yeah,

DJ Stutz  4:42  
but still and then you're trying to get all of the house cleaning done. You don't want things to be all germy and you're taking care of kids. You're taking care of their clothes, you're taking care of food. Right? And you're trying to find the time to really connect with your kids. You just clean In the room and you leave to clean another one and you come back and the one you just cleaned is totaled. Ever have that happen? The story of my life? Of course. Course. Have you ever thought sometimes Why do I bother? A

Jenna Jones  5:15  
little bit? Yes. Even today, I was like, Why? Why? Why clean up these toys when they're just gonna be dumped on the ground? There? seconds? Yep, yep, for sure. Yep.

DJ Stutz  5:23  
And now you've got the six year old and so you're trying to get and that's a girl. Yes. And I she in kindergarten, or first grade kindergarten, kindergarten. And so you're trying to get her off in the morning. You're trying to get your two year old, a boy manage him while you're trying to get her off. And it's not like you can leave him home while you're running her to school. That's true. That might be a bad thing. Does that I was tempted sometimes to just I wish I could just leave them only if only if only Yeah, five

Jenna Jones  6:00  
times as fast if I didn't have to bring the toddler. But that's okay, wouldn't it well, and

DJ Stutz  6:05  
to just getting them in the car seat?

Jenna Jones  6:07  
It's Yep. Lemon and, yeah, we just rearranged our car seats to since the babies come in. So I was getting that thing figured out. And so they keep going in the wrong door. And they're like, Wait, that used to be my car. It's just, it's a disaster right now. And I'm like, That's okay. So

DJ Stutz  6:24  
were they excited for their new car seat? Or did you just move them around?

Jenna Jones  6:29  
Yeah, so my oldest, my six year old moved up into a booster. So she was very excited because I was a grown up thing. And my two year old who was excited to get big sister carseat. So it was exciting for them. But it's still been weeks, and they're still confused. So

DJ Stutz  6:45  
that is so funny. Yeah. So I mean, you're going through a lot of changes. And when the kids are little like that, those changes because they're growing up. And they're they're learning new words. They're learning new skills. And so change is constant, isn't it?

Jenna Jones  7:00  
For sure, for sure, for sure. Especially in our life right now. Like my husband just got a new job. We recently moved back to Las Vegas, I'm expecting a baby. Like there's all these different changes going on. And juggling them can be sometimes rough, but definitely welcomed.

DJ Stutz  7:16  
Yeah. And it's true. Like even the rough times. It's hard like oh my gosh, just suddenly getting into this.

Jenna Jones  7:23  
Right, exactly. Fair thing that I get to deal with. I

Unknown Speaker  7:29  
got to baby proof that,

Jenna Jones  7:32  
oh, gotta hide those up high somewhere. Yeah,

DJ Stutz  7:34  
I can remember my youngest. Well, my youngest boy, Christian, I would walking into the kitchen. And there he was. And he had somehow found a box of Cheerios. And it just poured them over his head. Like, oh, he's like bathing swimming in the Yeah. And now that I'm mature, yes, I've grown up a little bit. I would handle it now very differently than I handled that, right.

Jenna Jones  8:06  
No, I totally get that. There's times where I'm like, I haven't even matured. It's been like five minutes and like, oh, I probably shouldn't have handled it that way. It's

DJ Stutz  8:16  
true. Yeah, that's true. And that's kind of what why I do. What I do now is to kind of help young parents find that moment and take a breath and maybe see the funniness of it the hysterical lism. Right. Yeah, I mean, he's investigating with crunching them with his finger against the floor and feeling that crud or making designs with his finger.

Jenna Jones  8:41  
Yeah, coloring and the Cheerios and everything. Yeah, yes. Yes. Yes. Really very exciting for the the toddler that's doing it.

DJ Stutz  8:49  
Yes, I did make him help me clean them up. But just naturally, yeah. And in the end, that's, that's a fine thing to do. But it's hard sometimes to not take the joy away from the kid in that moment,

Jenna Jones  9:02  
right. Yeah. Because they're so excited about life and like such a young age and then there's times where even myself and just parents in general can take that excitement away from their kids. Where I try I don't do the best sometimes. I'm like, Yeah, I've got the best of as I do try to recognize when they're excited about something that I'm not super excited about. Like maybe Is there a middle ground we can meet on because they are so excited they want to play this year because they want to go play in the dirt. They want to jump in the puddles and as an adult, I would never want to do that. But that's part of being a kid.

DJ Stutz  9:37  
That's true. That's true. But yeah, and sometimes it's okay to just let them get dirty. Right clothes wash

Jenna Jones  9:44  
ads, their soaps. Yeah, yeah.

DJ Stutz  9:47  
Yeah. And not be so overly concerned about you'll get dirty.

Jenna Jones  9:52  
Right? Then they'll have to take a bath. Taking a bath isn't the worst thing in the world. Like I need to tell myself that sometimes. Right? It's okay. If for them to play in the rain in the backyard, and then just throw them into the bath for a little bit. And then they get to play more in the bath. And it's great for them. Well,

DJ Stutz  10:07  
I can remember myself as a child. I know, pterodactyls were flying in the sky, you know, but yeah, growing up in Los Angeles, and you get plenty of rain actually in Los Angeles. And it's actually a nice warm.

Jenna Jones  10:22  
Oh, yes.

DJ Stutz  10:23  
It's often not that freeze. I mean, it can get cold. But oftentimes, especially in the summer, it's a fairly warm rain. And I can remember I had my little raincoat on, and my brothers, Spence and Don would come out and we would make these little paper boat things. And playing in the gutter, putting the lid, these little boats in the gutter like it's, yeah, we're chasing down the street. And it was pretty busy street, we did not live in a quiet street. That's fun. No, no adults supervising us. We're just chasing it down and down. But it's

Jenna Jones  11:01  
something you remember to this day. And in some quality time you have with your brothers. And I think as parents, we try to shield their kids so much that we forget that those quality times with your siblings and with your friends, and even your parents, depending on what your candidate asking for is important. And it's things that they're going to remember for decades.

DJ Stutz  11:20  
You're so right, I have this thing that I've kind of developed as I've been coaching parents and helping them to see some of the basic thing. I think kids can't show love. Until they feel love. Right? And they can't feel love until they feel safe. Yeah, so I think that's one of our first obligations from even before they're born. So you've got a bun in the oven, so to speak. Well talk to me about that. How do you sit down and maybe feel calm and feel that connection was a little one you're carrying within?

Jenna Jones  11:55  
Um, well, I like to play a little game, when she kicks me, I poke her back, you know, it's kind of like, a little cause and effect situation, or, we were trying for this third for a little longer than we were expecting. And so I was definitely nesting before I was even pregnant. So I was getting everything ready. I was washing clothes. Now. It's like a year in advance and everything all set up and just making sure everything is quote unquote, perfect for when she arrives and making sure she has the right blankets that hopefully she'll grow up. And it'll be her little lovey when she's older or things like that. So just connecting to the things that she's going to be using, I guess in the next year of her life. Yeah.

DJ Stutz  12:37  
And as you're doing that, and you're thinking about her, you know, you're having a girl. And so as you're thinking about that, and there's that emotional connection that you're making, but we also know that when you're having those feelings, and those hormones are going off in your body, they feed into the baby's body, as well, just as the stress hormones do,

Jenna Jones  12:59  
right? Yeah, definitely. I wouldn't say I've been super mindful of staying stress free. But I do definitely like to think about things that do calm me down just naturally. Like, of course, no one wants to be stressed, stressed out, no one wants to look at a chaotic home and be like, Oh my gosh, I have so many things on my list. But like, I think I've naturally found this kind of groove that does call me down. But it's also nice that thinking about my future with my third on the way is a calming source for me to go to, which is kind of a cool little perk of being pregnant, I guess.

DJ Stutz  13:34  
Yeah, exactly. And so now you've got a two year old and two year olds are no, I feel bad when people call it the terrible twos, because I feel like you're setting yourself up for this mindset of, oh, it's gonna be horrible, right?

Jenna Jones  13:51  
If you go in expecting it to be terrible, you will look for terrible things and find them.

DJ Stutz  13:55  
self fulfilling prophecy. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Jenna Jones  13:59  
What you look for is what you find. So

DJ Stutz  14:05  
yeah, and you don't have to look for it to find the temper tantrums, you

Jenna Jones  14:09  
don't have to look very hard at all. But it's definitely like, it's more interesting to realize why the temper tantrums are happening. They're not happening because they're terrible. They're happening because their communication is not where they want it to be. Or we're so busy, and they just need a little extra time and a little extra attention. Of course, I don't want to simplify and the little tantrums, like they can be very hard to deal with. But knowing why they're happening is a lot easier than just saying, Oh, it's because they're terrible. It's easier for the kid, it's easier for you and it's just a better environment in general.

DJ Stutz  14:43  
So you bring up something that's really interesting to me is knowing why they're happening. So what do you do to understand why those temper tantrums are happening? Right.

Jenna Jones  14:55  
I mean, I think the biggest tool that I have and I know I'm super Lucky is that I am a stay at home parent, I'm the sole provider for my children. And so I think I've left my toddler overnight one time. So for the first full two, he's almost three. Now, I guess in a few months, for almost the first three years of his life, I've been the sole provider. I mean, of course, my husband helps and sometimes grandparents babysat and stuff like that. But I have spent so much time with him that I'm able to anticipate what his needs are, or his triggers, quote, unquote. So that is definitely the number one tool that I have is the pure amount of time that I've put in trying to figure out this little human. And I rely on that information a lot,

DJ Stutz  15:40  
right? And I think to understanding that this is normal behavior, for for a kiddo in it, too. They know what they want, but they don't have the vocabulary, right? Don't have the words to say I want this. They can see it in their head of what they want. They don't have the words to say. And so they're trying to explain it to you the best they can you imagine going to Russia or Japan or something where the language is completely different. Right. And you're trying to explain to somebody what you want. And so you're connecting, yeah, you're not connecting. And how fresh. Yeah. And so they're frustrated with you, right?

Jenna Jones  16:30  
Like this communication is not there. Yes. For

Speaker 1  16:32  
sure. Yes. Yeah. Why are you listening? Right? Yeah.

Jenna Jones  16:37  
And I've noticed sometimes, too, that tantrums can be like the opposite way where the parent knows exactly what the kid wants. But the kid doesn't understand why we can't do that. Like this story keeps popping into my mind, where I had a friend who had twins and one of the twins want, they were walking through the grocery store. And they saw unpopped popcorn on the counter or on the shelves, and they wanted to make popcorn, right, right now. And my friend was like, sorry, sweetie, no, we can't do that. It's one it's not ours to we don't have a microwave all sorts of things, and they just melt down. And so there's a communication, both ways of parent not understanding. But also the toddler is not understanding the world either yet. And there's just a lot more building blocks have to give them before they can understand you can't make microwave popcorn in the middle of a grocery store.

DJ Stutz  17:28  
So Drew, and I think too, sometimes there's the safety issue, as well, right? And so we want to allow our kids to take as many risks as we can, but we want them to also be safe. And so we don't want to be the parent. Yes, I have seen this happen, where they're in kindergarten. I've let them go. They okay, this Mommy has this kid and this Daddy has that kid or whatever. And they go out to the parking lot. And the kid wants to jump from the curb. Oh, no, you might fall. Oh, no. You know,

Jenna Jones  18:04  
it's like you might

DJ Stutz  18:05  
get hurt. It's yeah, yeah. If that. Yeah. You know, or, you know, those little cement things they put in between parking spaces. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, don't jump over that. You might trip.

Jenna Jones  18:18  
My my toddler would hate me if I told them not to jump. That's his favorite thing is going on little legends and jumping off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just it's gotta jump. Yeah, exactly. They and they need to explore the world. And they need to figure out how to jump and how to land safely and six inches is, in my mind the perfect amount of time to start testing that out on.

DJ Stutz  18:41  
Yeah, yeah. And to when you allow them to do things that might be I mean, even that, that little jump might be scary for them at first, but they want to try it. And so they feel love because you have confidence in them. For sure.

Jenna Jones  18:58  
And they feel loved. Because if they do happen to not stick the landing, you're there to help them back up their hair to they're there to give them a band aid if they need a little bit of have a little blood or whatever. And so that yeah, it goes both ways. You can build confidence within your child by saying yeah, of course, you do that, and I will watch you and I will also make sure you're safe. Right,

DJ Stutz  19:20  
and then to say something like you're gonna get it next time, ensuring that there's going to be a next time and that you're gonna get it. It's fine. No big deal. Right, right. I mean, we did that when they were learning to walk, didn't we? Yeah,

Jenna Jones  19:35  
exactly. Then we didn't like push them down because it was too scary. They need to have that next developmentally. Oh,

DJ Stutz  19:42  
you might fall. Don't walk. You might go.

Jenna Jones  19:46  
I know. And sometimes we do that equivalent, though, as parents nowadays and it's, yeah, it's hard. It's hard to find that balance of like, No, not my baby, but also your baby's growing up. Exactly.

DJ Stutz  19:58  
And so You know, we've talked Well, I say we in other episodes, no, this.

Jenna Jones  20:06  
Listen to the podcast. Oh, yay,

Unknown Speaker  20:08  
thank you tell a friend, for sure, we'll do. But

DJ Stutz  20:13  
we've been talking about from the minute the baby's born like that skin to skin contact right after they're born, and how important that is. And even having that all all throughout their first year of life. And with both parents having that. And then as they get older, and having those quiet moments of touching and cuddling and whatever, and even those hugs as they go by scruffy in their hair. Yeah. All those little touching moments that convey. I love you. Those are so meaning below.

Jenna Jones  20:49  
They build up over time. Yes, definitely. Yeah. What

DJ Stutz  20:54  
are some of the fun things that you do in your family that just make the kids know? Oh, that's our love talk?

Jenna Jones  21:01  
Yes. So with my two, almost three year old, he's still Cutler. So we kind of all the time or fun, especially when he is having those big emotions, and he doesn't have the words to express him and I we go up to a special chair, and we calm down, essentially, like, we just have mommy and me time to calm down. Because one, the house can't handle any more screaming. And two, it's like important to teach him how to like regulate his emotions. Because sometimes he's tantruming. And I know he can communicate when he wants if he was calmer. So we calm down, and then we talk about it. With my older, she's six. And she loves all things fancy. She loves all things pretty, and she likes things in their place. And I'm not really one like that, except for my nails. I love doing my nails. It's just kind of like a thing that I have. And then but she loves when I am doing her nails. And I offer like, Hey, do you want me to do your toes, WD or nails? And so we spent quality time doing that? That was like, Yeah, I mean, of course, there's lots of little things we do out there throughout the day. But that's like our main mommy and me time with my six year old. Yeah.

DJ Stutz  22:07  
And I think too, as they get older, you know, they're gonna, and she may be at this point already. Where the PDA you know, public displays of affection.

Jenna Jones  22:18  
Yeah, not super cuddly, cuddly anymore, which makes me sad. Right. Okay. Yeah, but

DJ Stutz  22:23  
having like, just a secret code. Yeah. That isn't like an obvious. Oh, honey, you know, with the little heart thing? That's too obvious.

Jenna Jones  22:32  
Yeah, it's too much right. You're older. Exactly.

DJ Stutz  22:35  
But I think of Carol Burnett, when she tweaked her ear. Do you know that story?

Jenna Jones  22:40  
Yeah. And like conveyed a message that yeah, it was

DJ Stutz  22:43  
like time to go to bed shows over? Yeah, yeah, that was her little thing. But having just even something like a tweak of an error or touching your nose? Yeah, or something. And then they know, that's remember, I love you, whatever. And it's not something that everyone else is going to notice. But it's our secret code. Yeah. Yeah. And then when they're teenagers, I don't know some teenagers still go for it. And yeah, others no matter what you do, it's just like,

Jenna Jones  23:12  
I'm not holding up for that. Yeah, I hope it'll happen. But also, yeah,

DJ Stutz  23:16  
you take what you get. And then you find other ways to convey that as they get older. But those are some of the cool things help out like with their dad, because dads are kind of different than mom. So very

Jenna Jones  23:29  
different. Yes, my husband's great, his love language that he shows to the kids just play. They play all the time they go to the park, they make up games, they just play all these fun little things that for me, when I don't have the energy to do it. I've been playing all day or playing not like they're playing. But I've been building Lego towers or cleaning up Lego towers all day. And so when my husband does come home, and he just kind of takes their time and says let's go play fire in the hall, which is a game that they come up with or trundles, which is another day, like there's just like so many different games that they're like, oh, I want to play teddy bear today. And then they just go play it. And it's so rewarding. I guess I could say to watch as my husband develops those relationships with my kids, because within the first year of life, you can't play like that. And that's where like my husband's bread and butter is in the play time. And so it's been really fun to see their relationship grow.

DJ Stutz  24:26  
Yeah. And I don't know for me when I watched my husband Ross, play with the kids or do things with the kids and I would just sit back and watch for me. I just fell in love with him all over again.

Jenna Jones  24:39  
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, just like makes my heart flutter to watch them. Yeah. And this have so much time together. Yes. Yeah. Isn't

DJ Stutz  24:48  
that great? And so it's a win win for everybody. And then another piece of love that comes into the family that I think and, and one of the big things that I like to do Emotions say is the greatest gift that you can give your kids is a strong marital relationship, when they can see that mommy and daddy love each other. And even when they don't agree on something, and I don't think it's, you don't have to be all lovey dovey and never argue or whatever, right? Because I think it's good for them to see that you can resolve something,

Jenna Jones  25:24  
oh, yeah, and get better problem solving skills. Mommy and daddy aren't super happy with each other right now. But we'll work through it. And yeah, we can either show you if you're watching, or we will involve them, obviously. But there'll be this example of, okay, things are a little hard. But this is how you get through it. And this is how you love each other at the end of the day. Yeah.

DJ Stutz  25:43  
And even when you're not getting along, or you're disagreeing on something, to do it in a respectful way, you're showing them how to disagree respectfully, to state your opinion, in a way that says, I may disagree with you on this. But I still love you. And but I still respect you. And they see that and then they don't have to worry. Oh, Daddy coming back. Right?

Jenna Jones  26:10  
Yeah. Or what if I disagree with mommy, and she gonna be mean to me or whatever. There's lots of lessons they can pull from just your interactions with other people.

DJ Stutz  26:19  
Yeah, I was just attending a workshop by a person who was very famous. If I told you his name, you would know it. But he was talking about when he was a kid. He's the oldest and he had two younger siblings. And to his mom, he went through four dads. And his mom struggled with her own mental health issues. And so she used alcohol and prescription drugs that kind of work that out. And that's never a good combination. Yeah. But he became really good at reading people. Because he had to be really good at reading and his mom burned, he would last.

Jenna Jones  27:03  
Mom's not safe right now. I can tell by X, Y, and Z. So I need to go the other room or whatever. And they can pick up on that really early.

DJ Stutz  27:10  
Yeah. And we want our kids to have to do that with mom or dad. Right? To read. And that goes back to they can't feel loved if they don't feel safe.

Jenna Jones  27:21  
Yes, right. Done. So

DJ Stutz  27:23  
yeah. It's just kind of a, I know, it's a rough go. Yeah, for kids. And then what are the messages that we're explaining to them and to, I think one of the most important things that we need to train our kids up to do. And I don't think we're really why I say we, a lot of parents, I will say this, and I don't think that they are really thinking about it. But how important it is to really train our children to be mommies and daddies, husbands and wives. Exactly. And to say, someday, you're gonna be a husband, or someday

Jenna Jones  28:06  
you ever gonna do you'll be doing what I'm doing right now? Yeah. And am I as a mom preparing you for that? Am I exactly. You have to deal with these things? Yeah,

DJ Stutz  28:18  
it's important to be a daddy that stays around. And it's important to be a daddy that is involved. And it's important to be a mommy that does the same things. Yes, definitely. And so I think that what are we cognitively really thinking about overtly training our kids to not be the NFL football player or an MLB baseball player. Yeah, but our but to be like an all star parent, and all star spouse, and how are we that's far more important and

Jenna Jones  28:58  
thermoform and far more probable? Like that is 90% of the time they're they're going to do that. They're not going to be in the but it's definitely like how can you be a functional person in society with the people around you with the people that love you? And you love how do you treat them with respect and love them and honor them? Rather than go back to the basketball court or whatever other things we also have an invisible envision for them.

DJ Stutz  29:26  
Right? So exactly. Jenna, you are amazing. And I I just am so proud of the things that you do and the mommy that you're being and the wife that you are and and I love that you talked about, you know, you're only working about nine hours a week, but even that, you were telling me that you're working in a childcare at a gym. You bring your kids with you.

Jenna Jones  29:53  
Yeah, exactly. I bring my kids we go to our local gym and it's just the childcare drop off center where people want to go worked out, they drop their kids off. And so like kids play and they have fun, and they have kids and that they play with. And I get paid to make sure everyone's safe. And it's a nice little gig. What

DJ Stutz  30:10  
a great gig. And so I love that you found something that enhances, right? And gives you a little bit of extra. But it also gets you out of the house.

Jenna Jones  30:21  
Yeah, get the kids out of the house, a little extra pocket money, a little bit of fun socializing. And it's just a good thing that I really kind of stumbled into. But bless their lives a lot. Good

DJ Stutz  30:35  
for you. Good for you, Janet before? Well, before we go to that I just wanted to say, Jenna, before we got started, I was talking to you about you usually say oh, if our listeners or our watchers want to get in touch with you. And you're like, I don't do social media. And I'm like,

Jenna Jones  30:55  
what long time ago before I being apparent was even in my mind, I was like, This is not for me. I'm not a Facebook type of person. I think at the time, Facebook was the only social media out there. And I was like, I don't want to do this really. And then I just never signed up for Instagram. I never signed up for Twitter. I never signed up for any of that stuff. So it's just stuck with us. Anyway, yeah. So I, you can't contact me. Not on social media, at least anyway.

DJ Stutz  31:22  
And you probably like your mental health is probably way better. for it. I

Jenna Jones  31:27  
would love to think so. I mean, I have nothing to really compare it to. But yeah, definitely. I see how social media can be a trap. Definitely. Yeah. Constant scrolling, constant comparison and constant, blah, blah, blah. And definitely not something I'm super concerned with right now in my time of life. Yeah. Well, and

DJ Stutz  31:47  
instead of scrolling while your kids are playing, you're playing.

Jenna Jones  31:51  
Yeah, exactly. Or I'm cleaning up or I'm doing the next thing on my list. I'm doing laundry instead of getting stuck, because I know how addicting like, just because I don't have social media doesn't mean I'm not on my phone. Like there's things that you can do. And but there's far less things that I can get trapped in, in zombie scrolling mode that I can be like, okay, yes, kind of put the phone down. Nothing else is calling me. I don't have any notifications going off. But my washer and dryer just didn't. So that's my, my real life notifications.

DJ Stutz  32:24  
That's your clue.

Jenna Jones  32:26  
Oh, yes. Back to real reality.

DJ Stutz  32:28  
Oh, there's real. Yeah. Yeah. So fun. So fun. So if you have any thoughts or insights on Jenna, want to ask her any further questions or leave a message, you can always just leave a comment below in the comment section. And I will make sure that she gets it. I'll just forward it onto her. Or you can leave on my Facebook and my Instagram. I've got pages for the podcast and it's just imperfect heroes podcast on both. So Facebook and Instagram imperfect heroes podcast. You can also find me on Tuesday. Oh, wait, it's Tuesday night? Oh, no, it will be Monday night when this drops. We're recording this on a Tuesday night on a Tuesday. But every Tuesday night, I do a lie. So on Facebook at seven o'clock, I am live on the imperfect heroes podcast page. And then at 730, I switch over to Instagram. And I do a live there. And so you can always drop in and make a comment there as well. So, Jenna, before we go, I always ask my guests the same question. And the question is, we know that there are no perfect parents never has been never will be, of course, but some parents do seem a little more successful than others. And so how would you describe a successful parent? I

Jenna Jones  33:52  
guess I have two, two ways to describe when we kind of touched on is Are your kids functional? After they leave your home? Can they hold jobs? Can they be contributing to society in the world? And I also think as a successful parent, again, when your children leave the home, do they want to be friends with you? Or do they want to distance from you? Does that make sense? We're like, because I I've definitely left home and I've lived in different cities and I've gotten married but I still the way I know that my parents have been successful parents is I I like being around them. And I like giving them advice on things. And I consider them my friend. Of course they're my parents. Of course. It's my mom and my dad, but they're also my friends. And so I think that's a good tell if you've been a successful parent is yeah, come back.

DJ Stutz  34:41  
Yeah. And here's another kudos that I think people won't know about you. And this is something that I think is really key is your parents divorced when you were a kid, and yet you are close to all of them.

Jenna Jones  34:56  
Yeah, and my step parents I'm close to you Mom, Dad, stepmom, stepdad? Yeah, because my parents got divorced when I was three, so I was really young. And they both gotten remarried and time has always been split 5050. That's always been their custody agreement. So I never was around one more than the other. And that's kind of how it still is today as an adult, where I have my own custody of myself the first like a weird way to put it, but I still enjoy being around both parents. And I think that's something my parents have really handled very well is learning how to co parent in times where you don't really want to be around each other. And that's why you got divorced in the first place, but

DJ Stutz  35:33  
Well, exactly. But that's a true success story in my mind, that it really is.

Jenna Jones  35:38  
My parents who are great. Definitely a parent, my parents are great.

DJ Stutz  35:42  
They are. I think that just such a great story. So Jenna, thank you so much for being a part of this. And yeah, absolutely. Next week, we're going to be talking about teaching our children how to show love to their own family, parents, and then friends, teachers, whatever who is in their life. So we're going to be talking about that next week. And so until then, everyone, let's find joy in parenting. See you later, guys.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai