Episode 96: Holy Crayons! How Creativity and Religion Collide with Tymika Chambliss-Williams

DJ Stutz  0:00  
We think you should know that Imperfect Heroes podcast is a production of Little Hearts Academy USA.

You're listening to Episode 96 of Imperfect Heroes, Insights Into Parenting, the perfect podcast for imperfect parents looking to find joy in their experience of raising children in an imperfect world. And I'm your host, DJ Stutz. I am thrilled to have Tymika Chambliss Williams as my guest today. She is a talented artist and a devoted mother who has a passion for encouraging children to explore their creative potential. Our conversation started with a discussion about ways to engage our kids in creative pursuits. But it took an interesting turn as we delved into our own childhood experiences with religion, despite having very different experiences, to meek and I both found ourselves on a journey toward faith. Join us as we explore the intersections of creativity and spirituality, and how these two elements can enrich our lives and the lives of those around us. There's so much to learn. So let's get started.

This is one of the things I love about podcasting. It's just like life, you make plans, and then God steps in. Tymika Chambliss, Williams has received many awards, including director of the Year at the play awards in Las Vegas, Best Short Film Director at the Indy Short Film Festival in London. And she's been named to the Memphis 300 moral leaders, to name just a few. But the honors that mean the most her our wife and mother, listen in, and you'll see what I mean. 

Welcome, everyone, and thank you for choosing to spend the next few minutes here on Imperfect Heroes podcast and today we are talking about creativity and our kids, and engaging our kids in our own creativity, exposing them to things that will excite them and allowing them the freedom to choose what they want to be a part of. And so today, my guest is Tymika Chambliss Williams. And she has a media company Tymica, why don't you tell us a little more about what you've got going on?

Tymika Chambliss Williams  2:35  
Sure. Well, thank you so much for inviting me to be a part of your platform. This is truly an honor to be able to share with you so yes, my name is Tymika Chambliss Williams and my husband and I own a Media Group company called Vibranium Media Group. And it's a content creation company where we film we create films, television series, short films, we also have it within our company called from page to stage, which is trademark. We put that out there, front page. And the I stage writing formula masterclass where I teach weekly, I have three weekly classes and we teach people about the fundamentals and the foundations of creative writing and writing, catchable high quality scripts. So that's what we do.

DJ Stutz  3:23  
That sounds like a lot of fun and a lot of excitement and things to kind of get out of bed in the morning.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  3:33  
Yes, all day, this is all 24/7 type of

DJ Stutz  3:38  
hurts. So now you have three children. Am I right?

Tymika Chambliss Williams  3:42  
Yes, ma'am. I have two girls and a boy. Our oldest son trebuie. He's 15. And then we have our middle daughter Lila, who's 13. And she's literally on the sofa right now waving at me. And then we have the baby. You Yes. So all three of them. They're here.

DJ Stutz  3:58  
As we were talking previously, we've had a couple of conversations before this. I understand that your middle daughter is really interested in being a part of what you do and engaging in that.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  4:10  
Oh, absolutely. She is our little creative rainbow. She is uh, she's actually working on writing her own books. She was just casted to do voiceover in a gotcha life, I think a gotcha Life series or something like that. So yeah, everything creative. She's the dancer, the singer. When it comes down to creativity, she is that child and so I definitely tried to incorporate her into everything that we do from the we really we incorporate all three of the kids but she's definitely the one that's leaning more or less to the creative side. Our son is more of your technical genius when it comes down to like creating games and engineering and stuff like that. And then we have the baby who's more blessed to supermodel she's the queen of the house. So

DJ Stutz  5:02  
So much fun. And I know exactly what you're talking about. I've got a few of my own that fell into those categories. I really love though, one of the things that you mentioned, and I think it's so important is that you recognize the creativity in what your son is doing that it's, it's more technical, it's doing some gaming and that kind of thing. But you recognize that there's a creative part to that. And I think that's one of the things that sometimes parents kind of don't understand is that there's creativity in pretty much anything they want to do. There's creativity and math, there's creativity, as you know, because you're teaching those classes in writing and creative writing. It doesn't have to be painting or crafting or dance or whatever. And I love that you brought that out.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  5:53  
Oh, absolutely. I think it's important as parents that one of the things, so trips, our oldest son, he's not my biological son, he's my bonus baby. But you know, he's my, and we came into our religion, both of us came into our relationship, me and my husband came to our relationship with one child from previous marriages, and then we had one together. And so for the longest, you know, me and Lila, my middle daughter, I was in theater, she was going to rehearsals or like, literally, she was she has been performing since the age of one years old. So she was born into this creative world, you know, this universe of creativity, when me and Tracy started dating. Tracy is he's more the technical guy. Like I tell people all the time, he's the business arm of what we have of our family I am, I'm learning to be a little bit more business savvy, but I'm more creative. And so it's been so beautiful, just to see the contrast between everything because Tracy, although we are on two different spectrums, when it comes down to you know, our business, we have, he's training me in business, I'm coaching him and creativity, and our children, you can just see it even with them. You know, like Charlie, our oldest son, like I said, he's more into gaming and stuff like that. But he's slowly like, I can see him, you know, he's, he's our introvert. And so it's so funny, because I slowly see him kind of coming out of his shell and communicating and being a part of more creative pieces. And so I think that, as parents, it's so imperative that we understand that children are different, there is no one size fits all, when it comes to parents, that does not exactly the truth. And so you have to tailor parenting to your children, my baby, she is overly sensitive. So I know with her, I have to be very cautious, and I can't be too aggressive with her. And you don't have really made sure that I take my time with her understanding that children have to you coach them, and we teach them even when we're not teaching them, right. So even when we're not speaking, even doing things, they are still being taught by our actions, how our facial expressions are, how we were acting to other people, how we are engaging with other people. And so it is so important that we take into consideration that our children have to craft their own path. But as parents, we are the first partakers of how they get started. And so if we don't tailor our parenting to them individually, then we do them a disservice. Because eventually they end up growing with this imposter syndrome in which I'm just currently learning about developing impostor syndrome because they feel like I have to be a certain way to get approval from you, or I have to act a certain way or fit in a certain box so that you're like me. And so I think that as parents be really cautious and understand that parenting is not a one size fits all.

DJ Stutz  8:59  
No, no, it's a one size fits one actually getting know, very individual very specific. And it's interesting. You brought up impostor syndrome, I have a guest coming on on the next couple of weeks about impostor syndrome. And that's really becoming something that we're recognizing in adults as well as kids. And so helping our kids get through that and to find where they stand and how they value themselves is so so important. Yeah, yeah, I think you find a lot of times when adults engage their children in the things that they do, so maybe it's work, maybe it's their job, or maybe it's a hobby or a sports or whatever, but when they are really engaged with their kids, not all the time, but a lot of the time. The kids will pick up on that and will start going toward that activity. They may put their own twist on it. In fact, we hope they do, right. But they start getting into that. So you'll see families who are theatrics families, it goes for generations, you know, sports families will go for generations, artistic family, same things. And so I think that that's something really important to be aware of as well, is that when you're involving your kids, make sure that it's stuff that you want really want them to be a part of. I in fact, it's funny, just this week, I was coaching with a family. And they were talking about some show, I can't remember which show that they were watching and that the child had said something. I'm like, Wait, your kid was in the room, I might have been Yellowstone or the language and the violence and all that. I was like, you had your two year old in the room with him with that, and they're like, Oh, they're young, like, yeah, and they have temper tantrums, and they hit people and are violent when they get mad. So let's think about this. Maybe for a minute.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  11:06  
Yeah, even with me, I'm in the process. I'm in pre production for a project right now. And my all of my kids have been on set with me for my projects. Okay, how can I put this so I do not censor, when I'm creating, I don't censor my writing. However, I do censor what I expose my children to, because I'm just that, yes, I want them to be around when mommy is in her element, and when Daddy is in his element, but I'm fully aware that they're still children. And we're only kids for so long. And so I want to be able to allow my children to be children. You know what I'm saying? Even in a creative world, and even in a space where I create things that are adult friendly, and not children friendly, I have to be very mindful of the fact that they're still children, and I want them to be children for as long as they can be, and enjoy being a child, you know. And so my daughter, she's writing a book, and so she was reading to us, First Chapter, the first scene, I can't remember if it was first chapter first. But at the time, she was 12, she just turned 13. And she had a word in there that we don't particularly particularly, you know, and so she got to she was like, Okay, I have a bad word to hear. But I want you to know why I'm using it. And I told her, I said, Well, let's read it. We're not gonna say it, let's read it. So number one, make sure that the context of letting her know that at a very religious upbringing, and it was so many things that I was, I don't want to say shielded from or protected from, but there were a lot of things that I should have known that I did not know, because of religious beliefs. And I grew up so green, and so naive, because it's so many things, I was not exposed to certain things that I should have been exposed to. And so taking that into consideration, as well, and not making sure I over expose them because of my childhood, you don't have to be like, it's a very fine line that you have to walk, you know. And so when she was sharing with us, and we talked about it and everything, and you know, we laughed about it, and I told us, okay, now listen, you wrote it, let's see, we can figure out how to really tweak it. Because at the end of the day, like I said, I want her to be able to be a child for as long as she can be and to enjoy being a child. And however that works with her creativity and really coaching her through the process of creativity. I still want her to still be able to have childlike experience.

DJ Stutz  13:49  
Exactly. Yeah. And like you said, for as long as you can. And you know that that experiences vary on where you live, the culture, the neighborhood that you're in. Like we said, one size fits one. It's not going to be all this way or that way. But you do have to be aware there are times when, like my kids grew up in Las Vegas. And oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Lots of discussions. I can remember one time, we were driving north on i 15. Coming back from something we lived on the northern Northwestern end of town, and there's a business, several businesses by the freeway. And one of them was called, I think it's cheetahs. And it had neon lips flashing all over the building. Oh, uh huh. And I'm with my son who was 11 at the time 10 or 11. And we're driving by and it was just one of those quiet moments in the car. And he said, Mom, yeah, I just realized something Yeah, what is that? That is not a lipstick factory. I thought, oh man, I wish you still thought that was. And so we had a discussion about women and treating women, right. And sometimes women make choices that are not good for themselves. And we don't want to support you know, but yeah, growing kid raising kids in Vegas was very interesting. I get what you're saying.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  15:30  
Oh my god, I just felt like

DJ Stutz  15:35  
I know my crazy kids. I'll tell you it was, it was a fun time growing up. But so let's go on. You've got this little teeny one. Right? And how do you like, I can just visualize you I you know, I see you. You're beautiful and happy. I pick up on all of that. And you have a little one that is all of a sudden just breaking out into dance or doing something? How important is it for you to just dishes can wait five minutes, I'm gonna go dance with my daughter.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  16:10  
Oh, my goodness. So when I was growing up, so my mom, my mom was a ballerina. Right? And she was we're from New Orleans. And so she was one of the first top black ballerinas in New Orleans area. I mean, beautiful. She danced for probably about 13 years. And then the mind you I was born in 79. So I'm 43. So this was very early in the early 80s. My mom graduated from high school in 76. And so right when I was born in 79, her my dad really got into church. And so she stopped dancing. And she always wanted to have her own ballet school. And so she stopped dancing, because we were taught that that was wrong. And so every now and then she would teach me like certain ballet stuff. So my grandmother had bought me a ballet book with like, all the different belly poses. And so every now and then my mom would just, oh, let me show you a pose. Or let me teach you how to do this and how to walk and how to stand. And I will see these things in her. And I knew it was a passion for her. And she would even now my mom is she's older now. And she you know, I really want to open up a ballet school, she still has this dream of opening up a ballet school. And so my mom never danced with me like we never danced, never danced, my mom growing up and even to this day, if 43 I've never danced with my mom. And so knowing in the back of my mind that my mom was at a ballet dance. Like we still have our ballet shoes and books and all kinds of stuff and, and growing up with such a religious background and I love dancing like I've always wanted to dance, but you know, oh, the dresses are too short. Oh, you can't cheerlead. So I gravitated more or less to sports. Because I just love movement. It's I just love it. And so when my daughter Lila was born, and I saw her at a very young age, just she would just, I mean, just barely learned how to walk. And she would just stand in front of TV and just start bouncing, you know? And I was like, Oh, my God, she has it to your nose. I'm like, No, put her in ballet and then my baby. She's just now starting to get more comfortable because she's very shy, extremely shy. And I think within the last maybe year, she's just now starting to get comfortable with like dancing and really enjoying it. And I'm like, okay, so you have to and so now I'm like, Okay, I want to put her in ballet and put her in dance. But why it's so important for me to dance with my children. Because I think that number one, it allows them to understand that it's okay. To love what you do. It's okay to express yourself in movement. It's okay to love music and to love the rhythm and the cadence, the beats and of course growing up I was taught like No, anything beyond that one two step, you know. And so I want my children to love. Number one love their bodies, love to the movement to just fall in love with being who they are. And I think that's the biggest key. It's, there is like you said there's no one size fits fit all when it comes to parenting. There's no one box that we all fit in. And I think for me growing up, I was never taught to just love me fall in love with all of who I am. The flaws and the scars and the quirks and the things that may not be the best part of me. I was never taught to fall in love with that. And so for me, I want my children to know want them to fall in love with all of who they are, whether you like it or not, whether it's cool, or it's not whether it's a little quirky, a little weird, I fall in love with all of you. Because the moment you fall in love with all of you, I don't have to worry about somebody else telling you that they love you. And you fall for that, you know, because you're looking for approval, or you're looking for some type of outside, love, you love all of you. And then you allow other people to love all of you, you know, but I think that's the biggest piece for me, I want them to know that I support them that I love them that I'm right there with him. And if you got to stand on my feet, for us, just to dance to the other side of the room, let's do it. Because eventually, one of these days, I'm gonna have to stand on yours. You know, I'm carrying you now. All to show you life love happiness. And you know, when I get when I get up age, you'll you'll be the one that carried me.

DJ Stutz  20:56  
Yeah, that's so true. You know, I grew up in a very religious home as well, and raised my children in a very religious home. But we're okay with dancing. That wasn't dancing. In fact, we used to go to church dances. When I was a teenager, they'd have dances at the church in the big. Oh, yeah. We call that the, what is it the cultural hall or the gym or whatever? And we'd put on plays. And yeah, they had basketball games and stuff. But yeah, we had church dances, and they were a big deal for us. So even though we both grew up in religious homes, it's interesting to see how different those experiences were. Anyway. Yeah, in fact, I grew up where I grew up. I grew up in Los Angeles. And so a lot of the people who came to our church were studio people. And we had dancers, so it was funny. We would go to see a musical. And it'd be like, oh, yeah, there's so and so. And I see him at church, and there's his wife, and they'd be in the background as dancers, you know, in on the movies, and yeah, we we had a great

Tymika Chambliss Williams  22:15  
Oh, my God. Yeah. We did we, you know, we were, I'm sorry, go ahead.

DJ Stutz  22:22  
I didn't mean No, no, no, I was just gonna say we just had a lot of fun. We had some of the costume designers and stuff. And so every year, the teenagers, it was part of our tradition, but the teenagers would get together and, and write their own play and put it on. And the fun thing was, we had these costume designers and we had some of the set designers that came to our, you know, church, and they would kick in and help us out. And we had some pretty cool productions that took place it was it was a lot of fun growing up there.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  22:55  
That is so cool. You know, we were more in the south. And it you know, in the south, it hadn't, I think not well, within the last probably 20 years. But it didn't. The culture the church culture in the South was at the time was very hellfire, brimstone, and it was more fear driven than love driven. And so it took a while for the South to kind of catch up with the modern day version of Christianity. But I think now my dad's a pastor. And so my children are, I introduced them to God into church, very young, my daughter, Ashley Lila, my middle daughter, her dad's a pastor was a minister, I believe. And so, you know, so my children are rounded, I've learned to. And again, it's a very fine line, you know, but I've learned to teach my children to build a relationship with God on their, for their selves, through them watching me, Tracy, my husband, and because I think that Christianity, when I want to be I want to really tread lightly staying. Christian Christianity there, there are multiple versions of it. You know, and I tell people, I tell people all the time, there's Christianity, and then you have church folks. And so I want to teach my children to love God, and to love people. And that is it. Your honor God, and you own the people.

DJ Stutz  24:31  
Those are the two great commandments. Right? Yeah. Yep. Is love God, love each other. And everything else falls under that. And so one of the things I work to teach my kids even from a really young age is that when you're making a decision, how does it line up with those two? And if it lines up, right, it's good, you're good. So anyway, and then again, there's a ton of creativity that comes into To the way that you live your faith. Boy, this, this conversation has taken a turn hasn't it. But there is a lot of creativity in the way that you live your faith and how you serve people and what you're drawn to like, you know, some people are really drawn to this cause helping the homeless or helping the veterans or one of mine is operation underground railroad. And so that's helping to rescue children who are stuck in the sex slave trade, and rescuing them. There's a reason we are all drawn to different causes and different ways to serve one another and to serve God. Because there's so many places that were needed, if we all went after one cause, all these other causes would be laid to the side and they would not get the help they need. So, and I'm not one who's that, you know? I think it was Ronald Reagan said that the scariest words in the English language is I'm from the government and I'm here to help. I, I really believe that it's our responsibility to serve one another not to pass it off to someone else. But anyway, but I've loved the way that like, take your daughter, and her writing abilities. And so she could write about a cause or with a purpose with a lesson to teach other kids are aid or about kindness and about bullying and about, I mean, there's so many ways to use in in dance, let's take dance. There's so many ways to use dance in a positive manner that can help change the lives of other people physically. Just healthwise dances is good for us. And so and so I'm really excited. They're

Tymika Chambliss Williams  26:53  
therapeutic.

DJ Stutz  26:55  
Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, I dance like, I don't know if you ever watched Seinfeld? And was it Lorraine? What was her name? Anyway, the main female character, and she was the worst dancer ever, ever, ever. She looked horrible dancing, but she loved to dance. And that's kind of me. I'll be jamming out to music and my husband's like, really stop. You gotta stop that. But kids, you know, they start dancing. You come in with your horrible, terrible dancing, or if you're good, great, but just like, it's all about fun. It's all about being creative with your body and, and with your mind. And, and, and so teak. And I think that's an important part of teaching them to be comfortable in their own skin is. Yeah, I'm a terrible dancer. Yeah, I'm a terrible singer, too. But I love to sing. You know, it's it's all great. Yeah.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  28:04  
Yep. And it's freeing, I think I think it gives. When you get to a point where, like I said, you literally just fall in love with yourself. It's a level of freedom that's there. Because you no longer are concerned with the outside opinions and outside criticism. And you understand that you know what, this is a path that I have to walk alone, like, this is my life journey. And yeah, I might have friends that come in along the way, and I got a husband, I have kids, but when it's quiet, all the lights are out. There's no sound. It's literally just me, God and the voice in my head, I realized that this is my journey. And I have a responsibility and a duty to walk this path fully, authentically, myself, fully, authentically loving me. And understanding that I'm not alone, per se. I have support. I have friends, I have family and all those different things. But when the rubber meets the road, it's just me and God. And so I think that it's so important just to you know, and it's so funny because my daughter, she was like, you know, my middle daughter Lila. She is like fascinated with Japan. And so her and her friend is in the seventh grade. And so one of her friends is moving. And so she told me she said, Bryson is leaving. I said he or she was like Yeah, him and his family are leaving, she said, but me and all of my friends have decided that we graduate from high school. A year after we graduate, we're all going to meet them meet up in Japan. That is such a cool idea. Now whether it happens or not, I don't know whether she'll be friends with them by then. It's thought to myself like if we all live like just carefree Not carefree of reality, but in a way where our imagination just literally takes us to Japan or to London or, you know, to Paris or, you know, to Antarctica or whatever, and just really having a filter free a censored free imagination. Can you imagine how wonderful the world would be? That's one of the things I teach my students that as children, we are taught to have imaginary friend, we don't, oh, we're gonna pretend like we're talking on the phone record, pretend like we're cooking. And then we get older, we're taught that it's immature to have an imagination. And we find ourselves void of imagination and imagination is so it's so essential to just life and to living and manifesting and walking in faith and walking in truth. And so I just wish she said, I was like, at her age, I wish I had that level of freedom. But now at my age, I'm able to just ensure that her freedom isn't tainted, due to incite internal and external traumas,

DJ Stutz  31:06  
right? Well, it traumas are going to come anyway, we don't need to add to it, we don't need to, you know, it's all gonna come. So we want to make sure again, getting back to creativity, we want to make sure that our kids are able to look at whatever is going on in their life, and then come up with ways to manage it. And sometimes that takes a very creative mind to come up with a way to manage someone who is being mean to them at school, or if they're having trouble with a certain topic in class. And there are just a ton of things, you know, God forbid, it's gonna happen to someone dies in the family. And that's very traumatic. So how did we set them up with ways to manage all of that I remember, my oldest daughter, my father in law died the day before she turned four years old. And we were on our way to theme park to celebrate her birthday the day before. I forget why we didn't do it on her birthday. So we're driving by it. And we were within a few minutes of my in laws home. And we knew that my father in law was very ill, you know. And so I told my husband, let's, let's just stop by and say, hi, we don't know how much longer we've got, let's stop by we pulled in the driveway, and my husband's uncle medicine at the door and said, Your dad just passed 10 minutes ago. And so we were helping Gladys, that's my mother in law with all of what was going on. And we had to call a corner and her brother, it was her brother that was there, it was very helpful in getting all of that. And here, I only had two kids back then the two oldest. And so you know, I say I, we sat her down up on the counter actually in the kitchen. And we were kind of trying to explain what was going on. And that we decided that once everything was settled, we were still going to go because we wanted her to have her day too. But to understand what was going on, and which I thought was very big with my husband, because it was his dad. And anyway, so we explained that grandpa died and going up to heaven. And she looked at us and said, Well, I know what's going to happen. I said, Oh, really what? She's quite precocious, she still is. But she said, Well, grandpa, and Heavenly Father are going to be best friends. And they're gonna go fishing together. They'll they're gonna go fishing, because grandpa loved fishing. And she said, Because I know, God knows all the good spots. And, wow, that's the creativity in her mind of processing. what had just happened. And so I think that when we build that ability to be creative, and to look at things in different ways, it really does help them with managing through the trauma that will definitely come in their lives at some point.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  34:27  
Oh, absolutely. And they also learned that but how we manage hours, I think that it is so like I said at the beginning, we teach them even when we're not teaching them and we're driving, are we cutting the folks out that pull over in front of us? You know, I'm saying are we going the grocery store somebody run over our toe? Are we ready to go you know, ready to fight? You know, it's yeah, those things are, how they learn how to manage conflict, how to develop people skills, how do you have conversations with someone who's a little aggressive with you? You know, how can you be assertive without, you know, coming across this mean? How can you find the balance in standing up for yourself, but not using that, to tear someone down? You know, it's how we manage, they learn how to manage. And so I think it's so important that we take into consideration like, literally, we're raising little mini me's and how we act and what we do. And if we're clown in and in the front yard, fighting and cussing, and guess what's going to happen nine times out of 10, they're gonna repeat exactly what they've seen. Because like they said, it's not what you tell me, it's what you show me, I can tell you all day, don't use vernacular, don't use curse words. But if they hear me on the phone, every other word, I'm saying, guess what, when they're on the phone, behind closed doors, they're doing the same thing. And so we have to just be extremely cautious that our children's first love is us. We are the first people that teach them about love. We are the first people to teach them about forgiveness and temperance and happiness. We are the first people that teach them the fundamentals of life. And if we fail, in teaching them, I heard someone say, you're either raising someone's dream or someone's nightmare, because when there are their house, they're going to be either someone's dream, or someone's nightmare. And so we have to understand that we are not raising our children to be our children for life, we are raising them to be someone else's wife, someone else's husband, someone else's mother, someone else's father, someone else's boss, someone else's worker. So we have to be very conscious and understanding that we are raising someone's dream or someone's nightmare. And how we raise them is how they will show up in the world.

DJ Stutz  36:54  
Yeah. And it's interesting, because really, if you look at the whole scheme of things, that their children for such a small part of their life, I've been married now for more than two thirds of my life. And so right now, my I know, it's like, I can't believe how did I get this old? I looked at my husband, this was probably six months ago. And I said, Babe, we've done it. Did we do now? I said, we grew all together, like, we were there. But we're all together. Now we did it. But that's such a short time to learn so much. And so it seems like a lot of hard work at the moment dealing with the temper tantrums and, and how am I going to pay for school clothes and soccer and dance lessons? And whatever it is that you've got going on? How am I going to afford a vacation for everybody? All of that stuff is overwhelming in the moment. But the truth is, it's really is such a short time in our lives. I mean, and now I have grandchildren that are getting older growing up. And it's just amazing how quickly all of that happens. And so maybe having that ability within yourself as the parent to see the whole picture. Yeah, this is hard today. But it's all going to be gone before I know it. And I'm going along for these moments.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  38:32  
Yes, yes. And I am an advocate for motherhood. I really am an advocate for motherhood. And for parenthood, because what you said is so true. We only have our children as kids for a very short time. And so I've grown to a point where I hug longer. I hold conversations longer. I watch TV, and we talk and I'm texting. Like I texted my daughter in class the other day and I said, Have a great day. I love you. You know, just because I my kids to know that I'm present. Number one, I see you you matter. But also, for the simple fact that my 13 year old, it's five years from being 18. She's five years from being in college. I'm like, oh my god, well, you go to college, I'm gonna buy an RV and I'm gonna live outside the campus. You know, it's like, I cannot see me without my children. You know, I'm saying and that's such a scary thought of yours. You are going to be in college, or go to the military or start a business. You are an adult. And I'm like, I don't even know. It's hard for me to even verbalize the fact that my children are going to be adults. You know, how do I handle that? And so it's funny but at the same time, it's, you know, that's why I said I'm such an advocate for for motherhood and just for Really enjoying the moments of being a parent? Because yeah, I mean, they're, my son is 15 I'm like, dude, three years, you're in college. Like, it's so important that we are intentional about not rushing the growth of our children. And I, oh, I can't wait to get 18 I'm putting you out or can't wait to you get old enough, and I'm gonna have to buy your clothes. They know, what do you want? Let me go buy you some shoes. Let me buy you a shirt. Let me enjoy this moment. Because one of these days, you're gonna be able to do it on your own. And I'm gonna be sitting back like, what am I gonna do? You know, but I think that's all. So that takes me to my last point. I think that's also important that as parents, we understand our purpose while we're parenting. Because so many parents, they make their children their purpose for living. And when their children get old enough, and they move out, they are purposeless, or they feel that they are purposeless. And so that's why it's so important. So when your children do get older, and they move out, and they started having their own children, you're still able to know and operate in your purpose. And now you're taking your grandkids with or you're taking your your nephews, but your purpose doesn't stop because you were already operating in it during parenting.

DJ Stutz  41:19  
Right? Right. You know, there's so many marriages that fall apart once the kids leave, because that's really all they had in Congress. And so we don't yet and that's not good for the kids. either. You I don't care if they're adults, and you divorce. It's still hard on the kids and makes things terrible. So you want to make sure that you're honoring that family unit. It's so big, so well Tamika, I am so glad we've had a chance to have this conversation. And so if our listeners want to find out more about you or get in touch with you, what are some great avenues for that.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  41:55  
So you guys, if you Google Tamika Chambliss, you will find me I'm literally there's only one of me in the whole world. So I am an anomaly. Oh, no, you can find me on Facebook advertising you can Chambliss, Williams, Instagram, tik, Tok LinkedIn. And also if you are a parent, and you are looking for a self help guide to help you get back on track with your passion and purpose, you can go to Amazon and purchase my 40 What is the 4753 page parenting book called passion, purpose and parenting. It's literally just 53 pages. But it's so much impactful information and just tools to help parents just really find their passions and purpose while successfully parenting. So you can just type my name Tamika chambas in the Amazon search box, or just type in passion, purpose and pay your team and you will find the book, it's ebook as well as an actual tangible book that you can purchase for others. Um, but yep, that's the best way to reach out to me. And definitely follow reach out inbox DM, I would love to hear from you guys, I would definitely love to partner and collaborate with you all. And I'm just so grateful DJ that you have allowed me the opportunity to just share on your platform and to really just speak with you speak with your audience. And I just look forward to some really great things happening in the future.

DJ Stutz  43:17  
Thank you, I really appreciate that. We're gonna have all of that information in our show notes. Because I know to make it is spelled a little differently. And so just check it out. And we'll make sure that our listeners have a way to get a hold of you, you know, timing. Before we go. I always ask my guests the same question at the end of our episode. And that is how would you describe a successful parent,

Tymika Chambliss Williams  43:42  
a successful parent is just someone who shows up, they show up, they're present. They encourage authenticity, they promote growth. You know, I hear people all the time say, you know, I just want to be my children's best friend. I don't want to be their best their best friend, I want to be their mom and I want to be their coach, I want to coach them to becoming the best version of themselves. And that doesn't mean hollering and screaming. You can be a successful parent, but parenting by gentle parenting. Now don't get me wrong, you guys, sometimes you gotta raise your voice. I'm not gonna

DJ Stutz  44:22  
stand by those boundaries and values.

Tymika Chambliss Williams  44:24  
Yes, yes. But I think the biggest thing is really being present showing up allowing your children to be authentically themselves and supporting them in their authenticity, not boxing them into one thing, listening when they're talking and showing them that they matter that they are loved. And whatever that looks like that may look like taking them to go get their nails done or holding a conversation with them or letting them show you their drawings or their writing or whatever that looks like. But just making sure that you let them know that they matter every day and all day, and they are the best. You know, I tell my 30 year old, you're the best 13 year old that I've ever seen. So my five year old here, the best five year I've ever met, you know, my son year, the best 15 year old. Because in that moment, sometimes that's exactly what they need. And in the moments where they're having moments of anxiety, or whatever they're dealing with, you sit with them. And my daughter had a moment last year and she got in the car, she just broke down crying. And I was like, what's going on? And she shared with me and I said, You know what? Let's talk about it. I didn't rush her through the process. I didn't tell her she was wrong for feeling the way she was feeling. Because that's not the moment for that. It's allowing them to simply be in that moment, and you be there with them. And so I think that that's what successful parenting looks like

DJ Stutz  45:44  
you are right on. Thank you so much. And it was great talking to you,

Speaker 2  45:50  
thank you DJ, you too, and have a wonderful day and be safe. 

DJ Stutz  45:54  
Okay, we will. Be sure to check the show notes to find to make as information and a link to her book. And then hit the Follow button to make sure you're getting in on the amazing episodes that we have each week. And if you liked what you heard on today's podcast, be sure to rate review and tell a friend. And if you do this, I have a special gift for you. I'm going to send you a digital copy of my living in kindness book. This is a workbook and a journal and it's going to help guide you through five areas of kindness and make that a part of your life and your family traditions. On the web page of the podcast that's www.imperfectheroespodcast.com You might be there already. Just click on reviews and then leave a review. It's just that easy. Then you're just going to let me know you can message me on Instagram, you can message me on Facebook. You can message me through the website. Or you can just send me an email djstutz@littleheartsacademyusa.com And as soon as you do that, I will send you your copy. So coming up next week is Evelyn Shaw Corley, I gotta tell you, she's one of the happiest people I know. So check it out and see and until next time, let's find joy in parenting!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai