Episode 32: Neo Positivity: Is the Law of Attraction Working in Your Family?

DJ Stutz  0:13  
You're listening to Episode 32 of Imperfect Heroes, Insights Into Parenting, the perfect podcast for imperfect parents looking to find joy in their experience of raising children in an imperfect world. I'm your host, DJ Stutz. And I hope that you can forgive me I've got a bit of a laryngitis thing going on. But hopefully, everything will come through just fine. In today's episode, I am talking with Neo Davila, also known as Neo Positivity. And Neo is an amazing father of three, or retired cop, and a YouTuber, and the sponsor of The Thoughts Become Things Summit. Neo is a specialist in the law of attraction, and how things and people are attracted to us, and how we can attract good things in our life. There is so much to learn. So let's get started.

Before we get going, I want to let you know that Little Hearts Academy USA has something really fun going on right now, a scavenger hunt, there are 15 things to do with your kids during this cold season. And when you're done, you can scan your hunt paper and email it to me. And you will be entered into a drawing for one of two, one hour sessions, one on one with me. And I usually charge $77 for one of these. So take this opportunity to have some fun with your kids, and maybe get some of your parenting questions answered. Be sure to listen at the end of the podcast and be one of my Linger Longers. Before we get started on today's show, I've got to give a shout out to my listener of the week. And this listener was actually a guest on one of my shows Hilary Ableser who was on Episode 28, and International Adoption Story. And if you haven't listened to it yet, I highly recommend it. Hilary wrote, DJ interviewed me for the episode regarding international adoption and attachment. We had a genuine, heartfelt, enjoyable, natural conversation. And I felt like the time flew by. She related to me on so many levels, while also asking the good questions. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with DJ. Hillary, thanks so much you were great guest. And I'd love to have you on again later and see how things are going with your family. And remember that when you leave a rating and a review, it really helps my podcast, get the word out and reach more people, they can find me a lot more easily with the more ratings that I get. And you can always go to the podcast website to leave a rating or you can leave a rating on Apple. And it'll all help so much. 

So I am firm in my belief that fathers are extremely important in a child's life. And when a child feels valued and honored by their father, amazing things happen. We've gone through a time where fathers have been devalued. And I hope we are beginning to turn that sentiment around and understand that and involved loving father, who includes their children in their lives, and in their hobbies, and even in their work will have a far greater chance of success. And I don't mean to say that single moms can't manage. But it is so much easier when you have a loving and involved as been. I had a blast during my conversation with Neo. And it was the first time for me as he went live on his YouTube channel. While we were talking. I've never done that before. So that was kind of interesting. Then you can find that episode. If you just look up Neo Positivity. You'll see my face and you'll get to see I've done another one since then doing a promotion with him. So you can go to YouTube Neo Positivity, and you'll see us one thing that I loved about our conversation was that he is a concerned father who wants to do best by his kids, but realizes that he doesn't have all the answers and he is ready to make improvements. And we had a great conversation that just covered so many topics let's listen in.

Today I'm really excited to be joined by me Neo Davila today. And he has this amazing podcast called Neo Positivity. And actually, we're part of that today we're doing a live at the same time we're recording. So that's going to be awesome. So, Neo, you've just got such a great message. And one of the big things for me at Imperfect Heroes is talking about the importance of fathers and those relationships that are so important in the very earliest years. And I'd love it if you take a minute and introduce yourself and talk about your podcast for a little bit and what you do.

Neo Davila  5:39  
Well, everyone, I am Neo from neopositivity.com, and thank you, DJ for having me on. I specialize I guess you could say I specialize in the law of attraction, just for anybody who doesn't know what that is. And a lot of parents, the younger kids that I've been around, had no clue what it was. Basically, have you ever thought about somebody or had a conversation by smiling, talk to win years, and then they end up inboxing you the next day, and you're like, man, you know, or anything where you're saying, I was just thinking about that? Well, that energy transfer that magic, whatever it made them call you, you can use that to get more than a phone call? You know, they call it the law of attraction. I use the phrase thoughts become things a lot. I learned it in March of Oh, eight obsessed over it. Because I mean, like, it's the ability to create your future like who wouldn't? You know, I just obsessed over. I tried everything I could, different techniques. I made up a bunch of techniques. Long story short, I retired eight months later, that was in a way. And since then, I've just been touring the country, showing people how I use it in hopes that they can implement it into their lives and you know, pull some of the same results.

DJ Stutz  6:47  
Yeah. And so part of your background, you retired from police work, right.

Neo Davila  6:52  
And in City Police Department at the time, it was the most dangerous city in America. Six out of the eight years I was there. It was the most dangerous city in America. It was fun.

DJ Stutz  7:02  
I'll bet you've got a lot of stories. Yeah, I

Neo Davila  7:05  
actually started a group one night I haven't even posted it. I started a free Facebook group called when I was a cop, because I found myself telling these stories of when I was a cop. And there's some really good stories. I mean, you could imagine the scenery and settings. And me being the proactive guy chasing people down dark alleyways every night. It was just, it was an amazing thing. So yeah, that was a part of me.

DJ Stutz  7:30  
That's that page still active?

Neo Davila  7:33  
No, no, I retired back in Oh, eight. And like I said, I just I immediately got a show on Comcast called off the bench where I'm interview life coaches, but I would tie it into law of attraction. And then ever since then, I've never had a radio show or a TV show or anything like that, where I was interviewing one person at a time getting their juicy tips. Like when we spoke the first time DJ is a pro. You know, she's good. She's good. She hit me with some stuff. I was like, yeah, she knows what she's talking about. And so every time I have a conversation like that, I'm trying to pull everything I can and just learn what I can so I can feel tested, make sure it works for everybody. old, young, tall, short, fat, skinny. And then when it works for everybody, universally, I make sure I posted on Facebook. And so that's just what I've been doing for the past 13 years. And this last year, I decided to throw a summit that's Neil positivity sauce become thing Summit, where I just get a group of people together. And we're just all bouncing because me and you chat, and we end up coming up with some great customer ideas like man, I call it a beautiful tennis match. But you get a whole group of people doing that. It's a winner. So yeah, I've been doing that for the past year. Next one is January 22. After that, it'd be February 19. It's always the third Saturday of the month. So you guys, make sure you guys check that out. Neil's LOA summit calm is a landing page. It's a great way to just see I got rookies in there. I got veterans in there. And everybody's just chopping it up. You know, it's a great atmosphere. It's it's like one big open conversation show.

DJ Stutz  9:05  
Well, after we talked, I actually went and looked up your Summit. Yeah, yeah, it looks totally interesting. I totally get in on that. You've got some amazing things.

Neo Davila  9:16  
You know, it's crazy to I was gonna say hardest. We don't use words like that. The most difficult or challenging thing I've had to come up with is your topic. And that's why I immediately gravitated towards I had a three year old and trying to implement the law of attraction or anything thought related into someone who doesn't know what a thought is, and probably isn't going to have a full grasp on what that notion is for a while. You got to come up with different techniques, different ways to instill it in them. And every mental exercise I call that I've came up with has been geared around adults, until I had my son I was like, I get to mold him into this perfect law of attraction. wielding version of me. And I wanted to get started right away. And so it became a totally different study of mine, on how to get it into him. And so yeah, I love that. I love that subject. I haven't gotten really to touch on it at all. Yet until today or talking to you yesterday, but in an official podcast form, this would be the first one. And oh, great.

DJ Stutz  10:22  
Well, I'm grateful we get to be here, inaugural effort here. Let's go. One of the things that we were talking about. And for me, when you're struggling, you're stressed, you've got all these worries, we have trouble dealing with our own emotions and managing them appropriately on a consistent basis. And we've had many years to practice, decades, right?

Neo Davila  10:54  
Have we been practicing though? Well, I don't know, are just letting happen.

DJ Stutz  10:59  
Well, and that's the thing, because then we have these cute little kids, and they have a meltdown. And because we don't deem it to be important. We get after them for basically having the same reaction we have ourselves when we have our own meltdowns. And so when you talk about setting the example, and modeling the right behavior, are we doing that all the time? Are we really thinking about it all the time? I bet

Neo Davila  11:33  
everybody's gonna answer that question. Yes, immediately. But you know what, you have to see the imperfections in you in order to want to improve them. Because if you think you're the best at it, you're not going to try to improve at all. My little brother, I'm 40 years old, my little brother's 24. So needless to say, I was older, when he was born. And my dad would say things about things they would do, like they're twins, my little brother and sister. And so they do normal kid stuff. And my dad would my why, why would you? Why would you do that. And really, that's when it really sunk in for me. He doesn't think like us. That's why he did that. That's why he acted like that. That toy is the world to him. And through things like that. And then with my own kids, daughter, she's 20, my son is 17. And I got a three year old. Like I said, I get to mold him using all the information that I learned. And I was in a store one day I was in Walmart, and I denied him a toy. And basically, he loves dinosaurs got a million of them, not another one. All right, you got 75 of them in there. And 39 buy another one. And but it took me sitting back and realizing to him, everything in that store is free. We just choose certain things to take with us. He doesn't know money yet exchange. And so it's free. And I'm just not letting him have it. He's understand why Vegas free, I think good. And so that really made me change the way I approached a lot of things, I really started looking at things a lot differently. And it shows I mean, he's a great kid. He's everything I wanted to instill in my other kids but didn't know how to do it because they were my first run at having a girl and then my first run and having a boy and then learning from other people. Now I can really fully implement it. Plus, I wasn't retired. I'm retired now. So it's me and him all day, every day. So yeah, it's a lot of different things I do I try to give him something different every day something he's never held before a new something like I have this selfie stick or something then just let him fiddle with it and play with it. But that's like one of the little things I like to let him explore with a lot of different techniques that I have we we talk about this all day.

DJ Stutz  13:51  
Yeah, for sure. I know one of the things that I'll do with my classroom is I'll go to whatever thrift store and Denver it's our or goodwill. But I'll buy a appliance, like a toaster or whatever. Cut off the cord. Give them a screwdriver and say what's inside here, like

works. And we

Neo Davila  14:17  
have you shot. You just connected the dots for me I growing up. Before I would ever throw away a toy. I had to take it apart with a screwdriver I had and I don't know why. And my dad never stopped me. I would look at circuit boards and then I didn't know what that was and a little remote control cars. And you just kind of made me link that with me giving my son something different every day for him to fiddle with. But that's that's amazing that you do that. I wish my teachers have done something like that.

DJ Stutz  14:46  
Well, I am an extraordinary teacher of course. I love teaching and I love being with my kids. And I've learned a lot. So when we call the podcast imperfect heroes I was the most imperfect parent among us all, I think I have five kids. And I've got 12 grandkids now. And the things that I know now from raising five very different personalities, and teaching for more than 20 years, you learn to think, and I think, Gosh, I wish I'd known this was raising my young ones. So I really want to pass that along. So a lot of parents don't have to make the same mistakes. But the reality is, all parents make mistakes, even the best among us. You know, we all screw up.

Neo Davila  15:45  
Recently, I forget where it was somewhere. And it really stuck with me. I think it's something along the lines of where there's growth, there can't be perfection, like growth in perfection can exist at the same time ranking. And there's something to that, as people, something about us naturally wants to grow and get better at at least our craft or our living situation, or our car or our finances. We naturally want to grow as a community. So this search for perfection. Do we really want that?

DJ Stutz  16:17  
Yeah. Well, where there's perfection, there's no growth. Because you've perfected it, you supposedly know it all. And so the reality is, maybe you are a great parent, and there are a lot of them out there. But there's always more to learn. How is more to learn, and every kid is different. Sometimes you think, oh, that's the Stutz kids. But Canvas is very different from Shiloh. Shiloh is very different from Rocky. And then we adopted our youngest, our fifth out of foster care, and she was 12 when we got her and everything I thought I knew was the window. Gone. I do think that. But when you get to a point as a parent, and you're willing to not be upset, or why aren't you doing this the same as your brother or your sister, but just saying, Oh, this is where you are. It changes the whole dynamic.

Neo Davila  17:21  
I got smacked in the face with that, because my daughter was the perfect angel. I've never had to tell her to do her homework. She's going to be a brain surgeon. Now she's got a 4.0. She just sent me two days ago. She's just been that angel wasn't out late. And then my son comes, and he is the opposite. Yeah, he's 17. Now that was that. But life throws us stuff, you kind of learn from what's going on around you. My cousin's watching the way they were raised. And everybody's different for me, because my dad wanted to leave the hood. You know, where's my aunts, they might have had the means to leave financially. But that was what they knew. So they stay. Some stood there right now. Because they just won't leave. That's what they know. They scared of everything outside of that. I can look back and learn from them now. And what to do, what not to do, what worked, what didn't work. All these are case studies. Everyone you know, is a case study, use it. Don't just assume you're the greatest parent in the world. Because you feel like you're the greatest parent in the world growth. You can be the greatest but as your child grows, they're going to change their perspective is going to change the world what's happening around them. You can't stay in three year old Timmy mode, because Timmy might be 16 His girl cars work to spend on cars to go pick up girls. All kinds of that is playing into this effect now. And so we were talking about this yesterday talking to your kids, I do this thing. All my my nieces and nephews, any baby, I will talk any baby, I'm there. I'm going to talk to them like they're an adult. And I know I'm not going to get a full blown answer back because it's an infant. And so their parents might be looking at me like I'm crazy. But when that baby is 1316 They're gonna respect me, you're gonna have a different respect for me than they do for their parents. Because I was the one person in lives that was treating them like everybody else. I wasn't good you boo, boo, boo, boo, boo boo. But no, I wasn't like I was treating them like air, like they were part of the community and equal and that sticks with them. So having that dialogue, that's one, but maintaining a conversation with your kids throughout, is how you speak to them when they're 16. Right? You can't be quiet and then when they get in trouble in school and 16 Now you want to open the dialogue. Um, your parents talk to me, they're not used to that. You need to make them use to that. By choosing to talk to them more often. throughout their whole lives. It was a crazy statistic. It was like the average parent spends like 13 seconds a day talking to their child. ever like, Hello, good morning. Hi after school and then Good night like and then like, how many seconds? Did it take the same those three sentences and that's it and it's true. It's true, that needs to change. Because well, and

DJ Stutz  20:14  
I think too, if you take the time to maybe take a week to actually write down, you know, when you're on a diet, I'm constantly on a diet. You write down everything that you eat, so that you can see oh, now I see why I'm gaining weight. I'm eating way more than I thought. If we would write down just take a week, and really do a study on your interactions with your kids, how many are positive? How many are negative? How often? am I noticing that they did something great? Or how often am I noticing that they helped out? Am I inviting them to come do stuff with me, and really look at all of those interactions, and there's no judgement, it's just you're gathering data. And so then at the end of the week, you can look and say, Wow, 75% of my interactions with my kids are either a demand or criticism. And you really want it to be the other way around, to 75% to be positive. And even when you do have to correct them or guide them. You want to make sure that you're doing it in a positive voice in a way that builds the relationship instead of shames them or demean. So,

Neo Davila  21:39  
that is so clue building, because you're either building or tearing down, absolutely. And remaining neutral, not negative, not positive, that's a form of tearing down because time isn't standing still with your neutral. So it's gonna start, you start to go down. Naturally, if you want to get that visual real quick, you said no judgment. And I just want to throw this out there for everybody, because I consider myself a mental specialist. So when you first do these things, you are going to judge us when you write down this list. And that's an amazing idea. And I'm actually going to do that to strengthen my relationship with my own son, when you see, because I'm picturing my list, and I'm not gonna like it. I'm not their demands, because he always forgets to do at least 20% of his chores, daily. So when he comes home, it's like breath. You know, you got to take out the trash. It was full last night, we you know, so there is going to be judgment, but it's up to you at that point to make another choice. Because first you got to wake up to the moment, leave Facebook alone, leave your phone alone, and choose to do this mental exercise, and I call it exercise because the more you do it, the more you'll do it absolutely on autopilot, and the better you'll be at doing it. But there's also a choice you got to make, which is when that judgment comes because the ego is gonna step in and say hey, you're a shitty parent, sorry. But when it comes in and says that, you got to make the choice. And that's not why I'm here. Okay, it's not why I did it. Now let's move on. That's not gonna help anything. You see my shirt. For those who can't see it says thoughts become things for me to spend time telling myself, I'm a bad person that's manifesting a future where I'm thinking that I'm a bad person, I'm not gonna spend time there. So we're gonna move on. That's why I like to use law of attraction as like a fear technique. I need you to fear your negative thoughts and get out of them immediately, soon as you catch them because you felt it as a form of pain. Because fear is a form of pain. Anger is a form of pain. So you feel that little knot in your chest drop. You're the one that goes up when you smile and laugh. When it drops when you lie to yourself or you're hurting or you're in pain. Use that as a wake up as a trigger to wake up to the moment but I'm not going to be in that headspace. So as soon as you start to judge, that's another choice. Nope. Not going there. I'm doing this for a positive future. So why would I spend time in any negative headspace during this exercise? Right, and mice will not be doing it? Right. So keen on that? Yes, coming. The judgment is coming, kicking out, kick it, get rid of it. Kick it? Yeah, it's

DJ Stutz  24:09  
so good. Really, it just, it can just be a learning experience. And the reality is we learn far more from our failures than we do our successes. And so I do a Facebook Live every Tuesday night at seven o'clock Mountain Time. And it's on my Facebook page, Little Hearts Academy USA. And it's only about a half an hour. So it's not long, but it's a chance where we'll talk about the topic and I've got listeners who can make comments and ask questions and I can respond directly to them. And we were talking about the tone of voice you use with your children. And I was saying how I was a yelling pair. I grew up with a yelling pair And I wanted to change that. And it wasn't something that I could just decide, Oh, I'm gonna stop it. In my head, I wanted to stop it. But the reality was, all of a sudden, I would realize, Oh my gosh, I'm yelling. When did that happen? And I had one of my listeners was cited. I do that all the time.

Neo Davila  25:25  
To me, that means you, me, and you listen are one step ahead of the game, I think that's the step in getting rid of that. There's a certain level of making fun of yourself like, yeah, I don't even want to be doing that right. Now I could do this, there's a way more better way for me to do this. And I'm in that same mode, I'm in that same exact mode, try not to yell at my oldest son, while my three year old is putting his putting on the dog's back. Just yesterday, so it's like, come at it differently. I'm more stern with it, as opposed to value. I get the yelling, because well, my dad definitely yelled. But as a cop, you're always yelling, that's my freeze, you know, the ground stopped running, you know, so yelling with a certain tone with a certain tone in your voice to get those results. You know, my dad being a cop and being raised with a strict father always yelling, yeah, we got to change that dialogue up. Right, but you still got to get the point across,

DJ Stutz  26:27  
you still got to get the point across, it doesn't mean that you become the doormat. But when you have faith in yourself that you can get the point across without yelling, that does something to your insides into your head, that I can do this. And when you yell at your kids all the time, they get so used to it. And so they don't even care it anymore. And so when you yell it loses all its power. If you save that yelling for when they're running into the street, right? Then they are Oh, wow, mom or dad's yelling, they never you'll get their attention. But if you're yelling at them all the time, and they're running into the street, and you yell for them to stop, just like whatever they're always yelling,

Neo Davila  27:15  
if you want true results, save it for the big stuff. Running really Yeah, listen, save the yelling for when they're trying to run across the street. Without looking both ways. I agree 100%. Down. And that's, that's my plan right now, I was looking at it for that. I never put it to the street example. As far as safety, I put it more towards when the spoon is about to tip in the yogurt spot to go on a dog's back. But either way it works. And you know, I was gonna venture to say and correct me if I'm wrong. Because the same way for your spouse. I think the more you guys yell at each other, it just becomes numb. The reason why I say correct me if I'm wrong, because some yelling isn't numb. But that's when they're using words and things in your life against you that they probably shouldn't be using, you know, the stuff that you don't really come back from a certain type of arguments. So it could be the wording. It could be the yelling, I venture to say it's a numbing thing too. It's like whatever.

DJ Stutz  28:15  
Right? Okay, so this will give away how ancient I am. But trust me, I got married very young. But I've been married 43 years now. And I'm still crazy about him. And that, oh, thank you. It doesn't mean that all of our 43 years have been great. There have been some really rough years and things to get through. But it's funny. We were watching a TV show together last night, and a wife was just screaming at her husband. And I looked at Russ and I was like, who talks to bounce that way? Like, that's insane. I would be to scream at you, you know. And so I don't know, we've been able to work it out. We haven't always been super kind with our words. But for the most part we are and as we've gotten older, it's like yeah, that really didn't matter. Stuff that I was worried about upset about. It's like that really was stupid, even care.

Neo Davila  29:23  
You know what? You first of all, don't you wish you to learn that earlier in life much for one? And how early is the next question as early as I could freaking process, which is what we're here talking about eight and under. This is what they're gonna learn how to do things. So that's what people don't understand. Laughter is laughter. You might be laughing because you won the lottery. Or you might be laughing because Mike told a joke. It's just different levels. So kids are going through the same type of upset and happy moments as we As adults, they're just not as potent, because they're not feeling stress about finances, which plays such a huge role. Like if they're feeling stressed about the playground, because it wasn't as fun yesterday, it still stresses on a different level to you. But it's still that to them. So teaching them to get through or get over however you want to word it these situations as they come is something that's very, very important. And one of my biggest things is leading by example. I was saying this to you last time we spoke, and people would, they don't have to believe me, but trust me, it's true, you can be in America, having an argument with your spouse in Tokyo, and your child who's in Paris on vacation will feel it, they will feel it, they won't know why they're feeling that way. They'll process it and go about their business, but they're gonna feel it, not just while you're arguing. So to those who say I only argue when my kids couldn't sleep, or we always go in the other room, or we never argue in front of them. So what I mean, you got to find a different way to handle your situation where your spouse because it is affecting, every single word you do is affecting them, you hang up the phone call, and it was a negative phone call, because you just got some bad news. They can feel it, especially if they see, and it's how you respond to that phone call teaches them how they should respond to phone calls like that.

DJ Stutz  31:23  
Absolutely. You know, how do you talk about your own brothers and sisters in front of the kids? How do you talk about your parents in front of the kids? How do you talk about the neighbor down the street, or their teacher at school? They believe what you say. And then when they see that you are disrespectful to your siblings, you've taught them they can be disrespectful for theirs.

Neo Davila  31:49  
And in that example, you've also taught them that it's okay to gossip about people. Absolutely. And gossip. People hear that and like, oh, well, I don't like it. No gossip is what creates suicide, the gossip of one person telling something in homeroom, and then it makes it to the end of the day where this other person who's the butt of that joke is feeling like they want to jump off a freaking balcony. That's what gossip does. Right? And you're teaching them you're on the phone, oh, man, I'll go here anywhere from nothing. He missed out on this again and didn't call grandma they hear that they process?

DJ Stutz  32:29  
Well, when even. And I can't remember where I heard this. It's been a couple of decades. But just because it's true, doesn't mean it's worth sharing. And so even if someone screwed up, and they really did something rude or stupid, whatever. If you did something like that, what do you want people passing it around? Exactly, you know. So there's the gossip that isn't true, or the gossip that's embellished on. But then there's the gossip, that's actually true. And it's not any better than the other kind. How can people move on, if we keep hitting them in the face with their mistakes?

Neo Davila  33:13  
You know what I'm gonna throw this out there for those of you who are like, I don't care, I'm not doing nothing wrong. I put it on social media. It doesn't matter if you will, some people don't want that. Right, take into consideration that they might not want that. Then spread your stuff on thoughts become things when you put your business on Facebook. Now you've got everyone that you grew up with and all your family members all watering a seed. And by watering seed, I think of every thought as a different seed going in different flower pots, things I like about my job, things I don't like about my job, my spouse, my house, you're watering all these flower pots all day. And whether once was nothing, all of a sudden is gonna be a plant in front of you some uglier than some of the of you wondering how did this get here? So in the spirit of thoughts become things for you to water, the seed of that negativity, and then to have everyone you know, also water that seed. What do you think's going to happen to you next? What do you think you're gonna manifest into your tomorrow, your next week? Problem with that is your kids got to live with you. So they're taking on your crap to your parents got to worry about you. So they're taking it on to a lot of power with one post

DJ Stutz  34:24  
it as well and to on top of that, family situations or whatever that adults don't handle well. And then we push that on to our kids. For an example. I had a little boy. About four years ago, he was in my kindergarten class. And so his mom had a really violent boyfriend. And this kid's exposed to that and so he's hitting other kids and he's someday he was gonna hit the wrong kids. But one afternoon he came just curled up in my lap, like a little toddler, like just a little kid, smuggled in. And then he looked up at me these fake eyes. And he said, Why does my mama call her boyfriend? When all he does? Is it her? This is a five year old, dealing with a position in an environment that no one should be in. You know,

Neo Davila  35:31  
worst part is even if you told his mom this story, she wouldn't

DJ Stutz  35:35  
know, she would. So it's just

Neo Davila  35:40  
that's why we're here. That's why we're doing this podcast, so that a year from now, both of us won't be in agreement that she won't change will have a different outlook on the earth, because it will have changed at least that much. That's the whole that's why we do this.

DJ Stutz  35:55  
Right. Right. So anyway, well, one of the things that I do, as we start winding down any podcast, is I always ask my guests the same question. And that is, how do you define a successful parent,

Neo Davila  36:17  
I would say, if the household lives their life, enjoy, you know some about the word enjoy. It means in joy. And I'm not saying you got TO BE ON CLOUD NINE going to Chucky Cheese every single day. But if you ever watch reality shows like the real world, and it's like six people, eight people in a house with two people are hate each other, every time they cross paths. It's just ugly, I've been in that situation, you know, people college dorms or military situations. For me, police academy, whatever, it's just not a good way to be at school or anywhere else, let alone your house. Um, so and that happens a lot with like step parents and stuff like that, where it's not, they're not even arguing it's just ill in the air, anything you could do to diminish that as much as possible. That's, that's joy, just live in joy, I can go get a snack out the fridge and added that includes having snacks in the fridge. And I'm not saying it's got to be a million, but you just got to be a level of happiness. And that's it for me not to say that a parent who busted but at work and is never home to even see their kids. But they're providing. I'm not gonna say that's not successful, because it definitely is. But I would like to see just a positive vibe in the house, I lay that standard for myself. If my house isn't in good vibes, I'm not being successful at being the king of this castle, not being successful at that. So that's the standard I put on myself.

DJ Stutz  37:50  
That's great. In fact, it's funny, because whenever I and my Facebook Live, or I am the ending comments on my podcast, I always finish it with let's find joy in parenting. So I have this scavenger hunt that is going up on my web page, which is www dot Little Hearts Academy USA. And it's a scavenger hunt. There's 15 things to do. And then once you've done it and check them off, you can scan it and email it to me and you'll be in a drive for I'm giving away two hour long one on one live sessions with me. But one of the things in there is every day for a week, write down one joyful thing from that day, and you got to write it down. And I call that my Joy Journal. But a Joy Journal has truly changed my life.

Neo Davila  38:49  
Oh, yeah. It's something about people trust me people this something about writing it down. Yes. Some but saying it out loud. That's different from just thinking. It's a whole beast in the law of attraction. But writing it down just takes it to the next level. It's literally the next step up. It's like some kind of solidification, I make deposits manifest. I'll show you for those of you who can't see, you'll have to go to Facebook and look on the back of here is the posits, I write down deposit the word deposit with a number next to it. And it does something different. It's called watering seeds. So I take time out of my day, if I'm going to do a workout in the gym, then I can spend an hour doing a workout on the mind. So I take time and duties mental exercise, and that's one of them. I make deposits, I make withdrawals, I write out checks, I gotta check books, whatever you got to do to get in that headspace and stay there for as many seconds as you can throughout the day. That that is my goal because like I said, why would you spend time anywhere else if you know, Thoughts become things? Why would you spend time anywhere other than where you want to be? Exactly. But seeing it as though it's happening now is is key but that's a whole nother subject?

DJ Stutz  40:03  
Well, Neil, I'm so glad we had a chance to talk and to share. And this will be broadcast on my podcast in a couple of weeks. I love having you here. We'll have to talk again.

Neo Davila  40:15  
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me on you guys. Like I said, the third Saturday of every month, so January 22. I don't think this will be a button. But February 19, will be the next one. Of course, we'll be talking about relationships, because it's Valentine's day month, but it's just law of attraction. Just imagine 10 of me in a room giving the best ideas. We've had to get our houses and jobs and relationships and health, and all that other stuff that we've manifested. So it's a, it's a great vibe, great place to be.

DJ Stutz  40:44  
Well, great. Well, thanks so much, Neil. And I look forward to talking to you again.

Thank you. I really enjoyed that conversation. We had so much fun talking so much, though, that I will be appearing as a guest speaker at Neo's Thoughts Become Things Summit on February 26. And I'll put the link to register for this free resource in the show notes as well as his YouTube channel. And this conversation reminded me of a saying by an unknown author. It is, there is no need to be a perfect parent to inspire your children. Let your children be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections. I don't do this podcast because I was a perfect parent, believe me, I wasn't. We all make mistakes and wish we could go back and do things differently. And what our children need is a parent who is looking to constantly improve their art and is willing to continually work on our imperfections. So remember to tune in to my facebook live on Tuesday night. This is your chance to ask questions and get a little extra insight. And I know that there are those who say I don't do Facebook anymore. But this is worth coming back for about a half an hour each Tuesday. Where else are you going to have the chance to get such great advice on the issues that are important to you? Are you up to date on all things Imperfect Heroes? Register for my free newsletter at www.littleheartsacademyusa.com and never miss a beat. And in my next episode, I am talking with Amy Buckley, who is a teacher in Northern California. And with all the disruptions to learning in the past two years, and the disruptions that continue in a variety of ways. We have a great conversation about how to understand what your child is needing help with and how to find it. So learn what I mean by tuning in to the next episode. And until then, let's find joy in parenting.

Linger Longer years ago, I was reading a book entitled Love at home starring father by George Durant. And I realized that I am not a father. But there are many ideas and considerations that would work for either parent. And in this book, there's a quote that has stayed with me for all these years, George was applying for a job. And on the application was the question. What honors Have you received? Well, here's part of what he said in his book. I knew that I must write more. I then recorded another honor husband. It is such a joy to be a husband and to strive to be worthy of the honor of having a woman love and respect you. Having listed these supreme honors, I was now inspired to list my final and greatest honor. And I wrote with reverence the sacred word, father. Okay, Linger Longer. How do you consider your role of mother or father? I would love for you to post on your social media, the one word that you would use to describe your job as a parent and tag me and let's see how many descriptive words you can come up with. PS. I put the link to the book on Amazon in the show notes. So I'm gonna go now. Bye

Transcribed by https://otter.ai